when life starts to suck

I did not have a good week.

 I was going to blog about it too. I was going to get on here, vent, whinge and complain until I felt all better. A minute ago I logged on here with the exact intention of doing so. Because it's my blog and I'll damn well complain if I want. That's right. 

But you and I both know that rehashing life's little problems, after the first bout of complaining to loved ones, does not solve anything. It just makes you feel worse. If it's over it's over. And even thinking about posting it makes me feel that little bit worse.

So here are the positives from the week instead. More fun to read for you guys (I hope!), and a lot less soul crushing for me. (note that the soul crushing line is a wild exaggeration. My week wasn't all that bad. I am just dramatic. It's more fun that way)

But I did have a win. Oh and what a win. I got a HD on the 75 activities I made up for my language education class. This may not seem like a big deal but here's the thing:

I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT CHILDREN.

In fact, I know nothing about teaching. Also children terrify me. They are not yet at the point where society has molded then into 'white-lie telling' individuals. If I wanted complete honesty I would...well I just don't want it. 

I am getting sidetracked- mostly because I am on professional experience starting tomorrow and once second week hits I have to teach. 

I am terrified. But less so now that I feel like my activities aren't totally horrible. Maybe, just maybe, they won't kill me and eat me or whatever kids like to do these days. 

But you know, I needed this little win. I really did. Give me an essay on a horribly boring political or social topic and I'll make you proud. Get me to do anything remotely abstract (lesson plans, reflective responses, anything involving being good at computers etc.) and I fall into a quivering mess on the floor. But maybe I might be getting the hang of it. And it feels good. This is what I have needed all along.

Also, when my weeks go a bit topsy turvy I tend to make matters worse by forgoing healthy tofu dinners in favour of chocolate and bread for dinner (seriously). I stop sleeping, stop going out and give up dancing, piano, writing, and anything else creative that might get me out of the slump.

So..once I realised that I was falling into the same trap I did something about it. 

This a big deal for me. Normally I just keep on existing until something happens that forces me to love life. 

But this time I made the effort. 

I cooked myself not only elaborate dinners but breakfasts as well (seriously, how can you have a bad day when it begins with a fantastic breakfast? That's right, you can't). I started exercising and dancing like a crazy person to my favourite 50's tunes. I forced myself to practice piano and it was..it was ok. I did sudoku and memory games in an attempt to get my memory back (I really think I am losing any semblance of memory I ever had, but that's a post for another day...). I meditated. I showered, wore a nice dress and put on makeup. I started War and Peace, which by the way is fantastic. And I kept mostly away from the tv (except to watch Mr Smith Goes to Washington, so good!), which I think is affecting my quality of life more than it should. 

After all of that I am feeling ok again. Not great, but better. Much better. 

And it's really rather nice.