Thursday, June 21, 2012

I am feeling very optimistic today.

Back story:  I have a habit of deciding on something and then wanting it to happen right that second. It’s like with my previous degrees. I don’t like it? BOOM I dropped it. I want to start doing my Masters even though I’m already doing a degree and I don’t have the freaking time? SIGN ME UP. I decide that I haven’t been social enough this week even though all of my assignments are due and I have had maybe two hours sleep in three days? Break out the wine baby, I’m inviting the girls around. I’m not a patient person at the best of times and it turns out I’m much worse when it comes to full time job hunting.

On May the 31st I started putting in applications. And by putting in applications I mean I have put in over fifty. That is not an exaggeration- my life has literally been writing essays about how awesome and talented I am in the hopes of fooling prospective employers.

By June the 2nd I was in the depths of despair. Why has no one called me? Why am I never ever going to get a job, because obviously these last three days must represent my entire future?

When I make my mind up, I want whatever it is to happen instantly, and so I remained completely depressed for the next week because obviously the world doesn’t work that way.

When I got an interview last week I was psyched. It was next door to Joel, for a small private company and was basically exactly what I am doing now. The only problem? The pay was abysmal. For five days it was what I am making now in four. But of course, since I wanted a job right away, I agreed to the interview and didn’t really think more about it.

Until I got home.

And I realised: what’s the rush? I have a job that’s pays amazingly for what I do and I’m back to full-time uni for the next three months before going to LA for holiday in October. In terms of practicality- getting a job right this second would be another stupid ‘but I don’t want to waaaaaaiiiiit’ decision that would add so much unnecessary complication.

So I decided to try and practice a little patience and not take the first opportunity that comes my way. Instead of applying for allthejobsinCanberra (seriously) regardless of pay or level of incredible boringness, I decided to wait for jobs that I *gasp* would actually enjoy.

And once I made that decision, I got into work the next day and BLAM, two perfect jobs within my skill level with waaaay higher pay grades than I ever dreamed got listed. And even though it’s not all that likely that I’ll get either of them, it’s made me realise just how much more fun it is to apply for jobs that I actually want. And that there are opportunities out there and there will continue to be so even if it takes me a year to find the right career.

Because basically? I realised that my lack of patience stems from a nastier source than I thought: low self-esteem with a dash of paralysing fear. I never wait for perfect opportunity because I doubt that it will ever happen for me. I take the first thing that comes up because I’m terrified that if I don’t, nothing ever will. Granted, a lot of it still has to do with my inability to wait because waiting is just no fun at all- but that is also not a character trait I should foster, because it means that I’m always holding onto the first idea that comes my way. Which isn’t a terrible thing, and it has led to quite a few adventures, but it’s also the reason that I’m in my seventh year of university and I have spent the last two years in a job that great, but is also driving me stir crazy.

So while a little actnowthinklater can be bundles of fun, it’s also nice to wait for that moment- you know the one, when everything falls into place and you know without a doubt that ‘this is it’.

.....Okay okay I lied, it sucks to wait and I don’t think that my mind was made for such a feat.

But still, I’m feeling more optimistic that I have in ages and I know it’s going to pay off eventually.

What about you guys? Do you think it’s better to act on impulse or wait for the right opportunity?

(Image credit: 1.)