Thursday, June 21, 2012

I am feeling very optimistic today.

Back story:  I have a habit of deciding on something and then wanting it to happen right that second. It’s like with my previous degrees. I don’t like it? BOOM I dropped it. I want to start doing my Masters even though I’m already doing a degree and I don’t have the freaking time? SIGN ME UP. I decide that I haven’t been social enough this week even though all of my assignments are due and I have had maybe two hours sleep in three days? Break out the wine baby, I’m inviting the girls around. I’m not a patient person at the best of times and it turns out I’m much worse when it comes to full time job hunting.

On May the 31st I started putting in applications. And by putting in applications I mean I have put in over fifty. That is not an exaggeration- my life has literally been writing essays about how awesome and talented I am in the hopes of fooling prospective employers.

By June the 2nd I was in the depths of despair. Why has no one called me? Why am I never ever going to get a job, because obviously these last three days must represent my entire future?

When I make my mind up, I want whatever it is to happen instantly, and so I remained completely depressed for the next week because obviously the world doesn’t work that way.

When I got an interview last week I was psyched. It was next door to Joel, for a small private company and was basically exactly what I am doing now. The only problem? The pay was abysmal. For five days it was what I am making now in four. But of course, since I wanted a job right away, I agreed to the interview and didn’t really think more about it.

Until I got home.

And I realised: what’s the rush? I have a job that’s pays amazingly for what I do and I’m back to full-time uni for the next three months before going to LA for holiday in October. In terms of practicality- getting a job right this second would be another stupid ‘but I don’t want to waaaaaaiiiiit’ decision that would add so much unnecessary complication.

So I decided to try and practice a little patience and not take the first opportunity that comes my way. Instead of applying for allthejobsinCanberra (seriously) regardless of pay or level of incredible boringness, I decided to wait for jobs that I *gasp* would actually enjoy.

And once I made that decision, I got into work the next day and BLAM, two perfect jobs within my skill level with waaaay higher pay grades than I ever dreamed got listed. And even though it’s not all that likely that I’ll get either of them, it’s made me realise just how much more fun it is to apply for jobs that I actually want. And that there are opportunities out there and there will continue to be so even if it takes me a year to find the right career.

Because basically? I realised that my lack of patience stems from a nastier source than I thought: low self-esteem with a dash of paralysing fear. I never wait for perfect opportunity because I doubt that it will ever happen for me. I take the first thing that comes up because I’m terrified that if I don’t, nothing ever will. Granted, a lot of it still has to do with my inability to wait because waiting is just no fun at all- but that is also not a character trait I should foster, because it means that I’m always holding onto the first idea that comes my way. Which isn’t a terrible thing, and it has led to quite a few adventures, but it’s also the reason that I’m in my seventh year of university and I have spent the last two years in a job that great, but is also driving me stir crazy.

So while a little actnowthinklater can be bundles of fun, it’s also nice to wait for that moment- you know the one, when everything falls into place and you know without a doubt that ‘this is it’.

.....Okay okay I lied, it sucks to wait and I don’t think that my mind was made for such a feat.

But still, I’m feeling more optimistic that I have in ages and I know it’s going to pay off eventually.

What about you guys? Do you think it’s better to act on impulse or wait for the right opportunity?

(Image credit: 1.)


SJ said...

when i got back from overseas, i applied for any job that seemed ok, even if the pay wasn't that great. I think after being unemployed while overseas, i felt like it was vitally important that i just take any job no matter what it was.
I realised this wasn't a great idea when i started getting calls for interviews for jobs I couldn't even remember applying for and that's when I became a bit more discerning about applying!
I think you're right though, a lack of self confidence was probably behind it as well as I felt completely unemployable and assumed no one would want me.

ellie said...

Here in the states, employment is a scary time. A lot of jobs aren't exactly there.

So its a bit of a toss up. A lot of stress these days for performance evaluations. And I'm one of those with self esteem that isn't quite where it should be, I know.

Half the time, I'm worried I'm out of there as it is. I always feel I'm not doing enough. Then I wake up and see I'm having to do a lot of stuff that other people don't want to do.

All I can say, its hard to stay calm. Knowing when to stand up for yourself, and letting some things go. Its always a tight rope to walk.

lucy and sarah said...

Its not easy trying to figure out where you are in the big picture of things. Of course, we all make it.. up close and personal. Its our life. Our goal.The future.

But you have to start thinking of the whole economy and where you fit into. Or ..where will you be a decade from now. Is this job going to be healthy for you? Or will the stress bring decay to your health in the long run?

Most times, its instinct looking our for you.

Brandi {not your average ordinary} said...

Can I ever relate! I've learned that patience is really important. But you have to also put yourself out there and really trust that the right thing will come along at the right time. Definitely don't think about moving from one situation to a different one, especially if the new one wouldn't make you happy.

When I was looking for jobs last fall, I was eager to take any interview, just for practice. And while my job isn't ideal, it does pay much more than the first few jobs I applied for. You have to decide what things you need at a job and what you're flexible with.

But that feeling of wanting things to happen RIGHTNOW? That I definitely get.

Victoria said...

Soo interesting to read... I think I'm more of a person who wants to do alooooot of things but in the end I'm tooscared or too comfortable too do it.. And I'm really working on that ^^
Well good luck with the jobs :) and have an amazing holiday :)

New Life in Spain said...

I am afraid I am one to think "Great, a job. It's not my dream job but I'll take it while looking for something else." The problem is that once you already have a job, you won't look as hard as if you don't, and maybe you'll stay longer than you thought you would, and not be at your full potential or not be really happy. (My opinion) But that's me. I'll take something that is OK, instead of waiting for something that is GREAT. Maybe it's better to wait for that great opportunity, but what if it never comes? It might be scary to turn something down as you don't know when or if that right thing comes along.

Deidre said...

I definitely have taken jobs just because they were offered, and interviews just because they were offered. and then suddenly I realised I had to start being pickier - If I wanted The Job. I had to wait and apply for The Job and make it happen. Patience is SO hard.

Krystal said...

i'm like you, but i think you have the right idea, patience!

keishua said...

i can relate. it can be hard to hold out.however, i think it amounts to having faith in your life and your dreams. dreams are put in our hearts for a reason and we can have faith they will come true. easier said than done.

Laura Darling said...

Usually patience pays off in the end, but it is SO DIFFICULT! Especially when it has to do with something as important as a job! I hope the right thing comes along for you! I know it will!