Sunday, October 31, 2010

A post about facebook

'We expected more from the twenty-first 
century. Some direction, some push, some instruction
for living in the present continuous. 
A cure for boredom,
perhaps, self-annihilating or otherwise.
Instead we set the scene,
take the photo, update our status

as well as the shared sense of oblique geographies:

forcing us onto the side of the road,
somewhere near 
____. 

Aden Rolfe’s ‘Exchanges

I absolutely love this piece. And sadly, it is so true to life. 
People aren't living for themselves anymore. They are living lives that they think other people want to see. 
Everyone wants to feel special and important. They want to BE someone. And they want the world to watch.
So they upload a photo and update their status.

I am starting to hate facebook. And yes, I have one. I update my status. I upload photos, write on walls, click attending when events come up.

But it's not me. Nothing on there represents me. It may represent who I want to be. Or who I am when you first meet me. Snapshots of my life.

But not me. 

I hate feeling like I have something to prove. Like I am living my life through other's eyes. When really, the majority of 'facebook' friends I have don't care about me, and know nothing about my life. I am starting to hate the idea of people forming an opinion in their head of what I am like. When they barely know me. An idea that I foster. And work on. And change. 

But one that doesn't represent me in the slightest. 

So I think I am going to give facebook a rest for a while. No more pictures, no more updates. Some freedom to live as who I really am. That is not to say that people shouldn't have one. It's social in it's own way, it makes it easy to catch up with people who you wouldn't be able to keep in contact with otherwise. 

But maybe it's just not the thing for people like me. Who over think everything. I just...I guess I just want a fresh start to work on myself for a while.

Without an audience. 

People could (and will argue, even if it's not out loud) that a blog is the same thing. 

When I started this it was going to go in a completely different direction. It was going to be short. And full of colourful pictures and quotes.

Honesty never factored into it. And personal revelations? Don't even go there.

But somehow it turned into a mishmash of my innermost thoughts and feelings. I may not upload too many pictures or talk about my day to day activities. I don't let you know what is happening in my life every hour. Nor what is happening in my life every week. 

But this represents me more than a million status updates and pictures ever would. And I have nothing to prove. No one is on here to compare their life with mine, or see how many 'friends' I have. 

Maybe a blog is just another self-absorbed way of showing off to the world. And maybe this generation does all want an audience. Maybe I do.

All I know is that facebook makes me feel like I am not good enough; whereas this blog makes me feel happier and healthier than I have in years. 

11 comments:

Brandi said...

I totally share your feelings about facebook -- honestly, I like it because it reminds me about people's birthdays and I get to see photos of friends' kids, but that's it. I don't obsessively update my status or spend hours on it. Just a quick check twice a day.

As for blogging, I think as with most technology, it becomes whatever you want it to be. Some people blog because they want that fame. I honestly have always blogged because I love sharing inspiration with other people. You can't control who reads your posts, but you can determine what your blog is. Just be true to your very fabulous self. (You're one of my favorite people in the blogosphere because you are so honest and open. I can't tell you how happy I am that we stumbled upon each other.)

Jen said...

Boy, you said exactly how I feel about FB!! I too have been a little MIA on there lately. I just don't think people need to know everything about my life (when I get up, what I did this weekend, what I'm currently drinking, etc.) and you know what? I think I can use my time a little better... like by reading all my favorite blogs ;-)

Mallory and Hannah said...

i feel exactly the same way.
i haven't had a facebook for months now, i deleted it right before i got the blog, i think.
blogs represent much more of a person than simple status updates and photographs.
it may be narcissistic, but i believe that it is healthy. a way to organize thoughts.
i liked this post, and the piece at the beginning.

becky said...

Facebook depresses me; blogging doesn't. Starting an anonymous blog was something I wanted to do for a long time and I finally have and whilst its small and often not very profound, I enjoy it. It is a place to track my progress or my inspirations and talk about things that are important to me. But what I have never done is give my blog address out to "friends" - I don't like the idea of that simply because I then feel like I have to conform to the idea they have of me. I am glad you have found happiness in your blog. I have found happiness in your blog too!

Krystal said...

I kind of feel the same way and seem to be using it less and less.
My other thought is....sometimes you can tell more about someone by all this fake stuff they post, know what i mean?

Lady Midnight said...

I find facebook strange as well. I think certain parts of it are great, like being able to keep up with people who you don't see very much, it's an easy way to set up events, it's a good way to share photos. But I find it very odd when people update their statuses constantly, or when they talk about what they are going to put on facebook if you are talking to them in person. I'm really glad it wasn't around when I was in highschool. I think being confident and comfortable as a teenager is hard enough without having to be confident and comfortable 24/7 on facebook as well.

So can I ask, do you Twitter as well?!

Sara Louise said...

I completely agree with people acting like a character of themselves as opposed to the real nitty gritty boring truth. But I think we all know that no one is that fabulous!
Being thousands of miles away from my friends and family, I like FB for how easy it makes it to keep in touch, but nobody needs to know every single thought I have everyday, or what I'm doing Saturday night because I'm just not that interesting!
Enjoy your FB vacation :-)

ag. said...

I am pretty sick of facebook. I like it for what I use it for and think most other parts are just annoying! And to be honest, I don't use it for much else other than sending messages to close friends (who all live far away) or posting pictures for my friends and family across the country to see...but it really does make you feel like you're not good enough, doesn't it? I bet you'll be happier taking a little break from it and then using it on your own terms.

Imogen said...

I agree about facebook, I hate it. I agree that it's good for communicating with others but sometimes I long for the days before facebook. It wasn't that long ago but now I can't imagine my life without it. I hope that it is a bubble that will burst!

The Many Colours of Happiness said...

Me too Imogen! Mm I can't get rid of it, there are too many people that I couldn't keep in contact with otherwise. Which is a shame! I miss the days of messaging and email.
I'm surprised so many people agree, it's really cool and was not expecting it at all!

Lady- I stared a Twitter but after 2 posts I realised I just wasn't that interesting and ran out of things to write..

Red Boots said...

I feel like this about Facebook too. And some blogs. I hate going on blogs and seeing couples in forced poses for a 'cute' coupley blog post. I tend to avoid blogs like that. We should have a campaign asked fake!

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