I have worn makeup for a long time. A LONG TIME. It was the easiest thing to hide behind without..well without actually hiding. Whenever I stayed at a friend's house I would make sure I woke up earlier than them, just so I could brush my hair and put on a full face of makeup and pretend I woke up like that. I could not bare for anyone to see me for how I actually was.
The first time I stayed over at Joel's house I made sure I woke up early so I could hide my face. I woke up and thought about reaching for my bag. Then I changed my mind. I fell asleep again. And when we woke up together I let him see me for me. And he told me I was beautiful.