Friday, August 6, 2010

Sometimes happiness is giving yourself a break. Even if it's from trying to be happy.

Since Christmas last year I have made a concerted to make the most of life. Take chances, do things that I would normally be afraid of (like flying a plane!), say yes to socializing when all I want to do is crawl into bed. This had led to some amazing memories (and some not so amazing awkward ones!). But on the whole saying yes to life has been worth it. However, what with this whole 'seizing the moment' attitude I have been trying on I have started to feel really guilty when I'm not doing something. I have been filling up my days off with lunches, nights out, and using the spare moments in the those days, and my night off, to practice dance and piano.
On Wednesday night I came home after work completely exhausted. I was dreading practicing piano and dance. I was starting to hate the idea of it. So I stopped and looked around at myself, my life. And I realised: I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO PROVE. Not to myself, not to anybody. There was nothing wrong with having a lazy day. A lazy few days in fact. It didn't mean I was wasting my life, and it sure didn't say anything about me as a person. And so I grabbed a packet of burger rings, some chocolate, my computer and a book, and I crawled into bed with the electric blanket on and read blogs and my book until I fell asleep at 9:30. And do you know what? I woke up with a bigger smile on my face the next morning than I have in ages.

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