Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Procrastination is an art form

Well, I am officially back. Holidays have started, uni is over for another two months, I am free, free, free.

However, I just HAD to share an important life lesson with you all before I start blogging about the wonders of the holiday season (which will probably be my only focus throughout December. I love Christmas/everything Christmas related. Love. It.)

Well, as I was 'studying' for my language ed exam, I decided to quickly check to see if my Maths marks had come back. They had not. But I did stumble across a forum post from a fellow student. This student had uploaded not 1, but 2 helpful maths studies that will assist us in our studies and future teaching. She called this 'procrastination'.

This was not procrastination. This was making efficient use of time while having a break from studying.

SHE WAS FAILING AT FAILING AT LIFE.

All I could think was 'That poor poor girl. Obviously no one has ever shown her the way. And now it's too late. The path to true procrastination will be forever closed to her.'

And I just couldn't bare the thought of another person out there suffering the same fate. So I complied a 5-step guide to procrastination for you. Because I care.

5-Easy Steps to Procrastination:

1. DON'T DO ANYTHING PRODUCTIVE WHILE PROCRASTINATING
As I mentioned above, making efficient use of your time is not procrastinating. Ever. No ifs or buts. That is why it is rule number one. Studying for another subject does not count as procrastination. Being able to tell me the life cycle of a bee (as long as you're not doing science) does. Procrastination friendly sites are: facebook, wiki, failblog, lamebook, lolcats, google searching your own name and fml. Anything else will need prior approval from me.
Note: If you are reading this while studying for an exam, I applaud you. Procrastinating by reading about procrastinating? Gold star!


2. PROCRASTINATION SHOULD WASTE AT LEAST A DAY OF YOUR LIFE
Wasting an hour while trying to study does not count as procrastinating. It is a short, well deserved break. Until you have sat in front of your computer for 10 hours, at the end of which you realise that you have not written more than 1 sentence (in fact, you have no idea what you actually did in that time), well that is when you know you have become a true procrastinator.


3. YOU SHOULD NEVER START PROCRASTINATING UNTIL 2 DAYS BEFORE YOUR EXAM/ASSIGNMENT IS DUE
Why? Because you shouldn't have even started your assignment/exam until that time. Thinking about your assignment weeks in advance and counting that as study is acceptable, provided you don't actually put pen to paper (or fingers to a keyboard)


4. YOU SHOULD FEEL STRESSED OUT THE WHOLE TIME YOU ARE PROCRASTINATING
If you are a chilled out person who just likes to get things down at the last minute because 'hey man, that's how I work best', then you are not, and never will be, a procrastinator. You may meet all other requirements, but if you don't have a sense of unease that slowly morphs into a panic attack when you realise you only have an hour left, then sorry buddy. Go take your chilled out competent self elsewhere.


5. IF YOUR ASSIGNMENT IS IN AN HOUR BEFORE IT'S DUE/YOU'VE DONE SUFFICIENT STUDY FOR YOUR EXAM: YOU FAILED AT PROCRASTINATING
You should ALWAYS procrastinate until the last possible second. In the case of assignments: you are allowed to get them in on time, provided you almost miss the bus/suffer an impressive case of road rage, then have to sprint the last 100 meters (preferably past the teacher as they are walking to pick up the assignments). In the case of exams: If you do not experience a sinking feeling as you look through your exam paper- then you failed at procrastinating. Sorry. Better luck next time.


I hope this guide serves you well during your remaining years as a student. Good luck my fellow procrastinators and make me proud!

8 comments:

Brandi said...

So witty. I love it. I think I'm one of those who is destined to eternally fail at failing at life. I just can't not do SOMETHING. Anything.
And you get two full months off? Totally jealous. We get just about three weeks. Hardly. Stupid quarter system.

Krystal said...

hilarious!! and that poor girl, oh my goodness. she tried, bless her heart! but you sound like you know how its really done :) I do too!

Morgan I. said...

haha this is so funny! I love your style girl! Haha you seem like a professional (=

The Many Colours of Happiness said...

Haha thanks guys! Yes, sadly I am quite the expert...
@Brandi- I am quite jealous of your inability to fail at failing at life, I think I need to borrow some of your motivation :p I can't believe you only get 3 weeks, we have all been complaining because our uni has trimesters now and we only get two months! Maybe I should not complain about that anymore.. :)

styleforlife said...

umm, I say ignore it all about just have fun and produce like crazzzzy, :-) xxx

HanneeNz said...

Thanks for the congratulations! Not only did we win our game, we just found out we are no longer bottom of the table! Hooray.
I am such a procrastinator. I think it's pretty much all I do. Ever. Nice tips =)

Marie said...

This is a funny post!:D Thanks for posting this and making me laugh today!:D

***** Marie *****
allthingsmarie.com

Sara Louise said...

I've got #4 down perfectly :-)