Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Grrrrr...



I had been feeling very Zen like lately. Which is strange for me. Very, very strange. It’s not that I am highly-strung or anything. But I am jittery. Fidgety. I cannot stand sitting still. I bounce from one emotion to the next. I worry about all of the things I have to do that I did not make time for.

But somehow over the last few months something shifted. I began to feel more...peaceful. Instead of bouncing from over the moon ecstatic to painfully ordinary feeling in a heartbeat, I am stable. I am happy. It doesn’t take one silly little thing to throw me into the depths of despair anymore.

Or at least I was feeling that way.

Feeling particularly Zen like at the coast, I was congratulating myself on the great work/school/life balance I have going on at the moment. And I thought ‘hey, this is the perfect time to start working on other aspects of my life.’ So I decided to focus on getting enough sleep, getting regular exercise and eating healthily. How could that do anything but make me feel fantastic? And considering I have an intolerance to sucrose and glucose that results in debilitating migraines, that was the first thing to go. That and caffeine.

As much as I hate to admit it, getting up early in the morning to exercise does leave me feeling pretty fantastic. And sleeping a bit longer feels pretty wonderful too.

But this whole giving up sugar and caffeine thing?

Worst. Decision. Ever.

I feel awful. I am tired and shaky. My head is pounding. I can barely keep my eyes open past three.

And I am angry.

God I am angry. I found myself yesterday wishing it was socially acceptable to hit people over the head for talking to me. Boy do I wish it was. I am the opposite of Zen. I am a raging, teeth grinding, Godzilla woman on a rampage.

I am giving it a week. One week without sugar and caffeine. If my head hasn’t exploded or I haven’t killed someone by then I deserve a medal.

Stupid everything.

16 comments:

Deidre said...

Ugh! I think it takes a little while for the withdrawal symptoms to pass. Good luck! It's very brave you!

Mary Grace said...

Yes, I totally agree with the comment above. It's called withdrawal. It'll take about a week or least it did for me during my summer days when I gave up caffeine. But I gotta at least have some sugar to treat myself a little something. You definitely deserve a medal for giving up BOTH! Eek.

Autumn said...

Sometimes I feel the same way in a classroom full of children....which is not only socially inappropriate, but I would be all over the news haha. We totally have Dr Pepper days in our class...

SJ said...

i've heard this is pretty common when people give up caffeine so you should at least give it the week.
i don't drink much coffee (i just enjoy the walk to the cafe with people at work more so i can leave my desk and have a chat) but i probably eat more sugar than i even realise, it seems impossible to escape!
good luck with it though!
(and thanks for the comment re: weddings. I'm still unsure about it all, Iceland is looking pretty awesome at the moment :)

Swiss said...

haha too funny, though I guess I shouldn't laugh you could virtually slug me. Kudos to you. Coffee is something I drink on special occasions - but would be so hard to give up completely.

Mandy said...

Wow, I feel for you. I know that my will power isn't even strong enough to last 1 day without caffeine...it's bad! and sugar...don't get me started there, I have a MAJOR sweet tooth...so bravo for trying, I wouldn't even get that far!

HanneeNz said...

Stick with it! You can totally do it, I have faith in you! It will take your body a little while to get over its cravings which is why you must be feeling so rotten, but try and think about how good you will feel in the long run. Giving yourself a week is a great start. If you still find it difficult after that, maybe instead of going cold turkey you could cut back? Just have a little less caffine and sugar everyday until your body gets used to it? Good luck, would love to hear how you do!

Jessica said...

Oh my heavens good luck!! I am a sugar fiend, I definitely could never give it up! I can't wait to hear how it all continues to pan out.

Ruth said...

I TOTALLY am with you on the social acceptable-ness problem. Too often!

But don't be too hard on yourself. You're trying to give up sugar AND caffeine! Those are two things bodies sometimes RUN on. Maybe start with taking out just a little at a time? It doesn't necessarily have to be all-or-nothing. But whatever you decide to do, we're proud!

Aquí said...

I'm a but jittery myself! glad you're so zenned out right now :)

a work in progress said...

maybe i should TAKE UP caffeine and (more) sugar...i'm that misanthropic ALL the time :D

Googlover/keishua said...

It is life full of paradoxes!When I gave up coffee, I was a beast. However, I remember how crazy I was on it and it made it doable. I don't imagine I can give up caffeinated tea but I do limit myself. Giving up both things and once is probably really hard on your body and mind. Give yourself some kuddos for looking out for yourself!!

Mil said...

Wow, you are brave to give up my two favorite food groups. Does this mean no chocolate either?

Brandi {not your average ordinary} said...

I was really irritable when I first gave up most processed sugars (the only ones I usually get now are the natural ones). I think I was in withdrawal. After a few weeks, I started feeling SO much better and now if I have too much sugar, I feel ill. Don't give up yet, but be willing to reduce your intake of both slowly.

Jo said...

I want to know how quitting caffeine is going...but I'm scared to ask. ;) Kidding!!

Seriously, I had to cut caffeine a few years back because I had a cyst. The doc said that many people are prone to cysts, and caffeine seems to make them happen. She told me either I could quit caffeine or come in to get cysts drained regularly. I mean, I even had to stop eating almonds because of their caffeine content!

I am back on the stuff now, but I've cut waaaay down. I think from time to time that it might be better to quit again all together.

How are you doing with it?

Sarah said...

So... if your week doesn't go well, maybe try giving them up one at a time? That might make it easier.

Also, I find that when I say I definitely can't have something, I want it more. If I say I can have it whenever I want, but just a little, it helps. Also, maybe tell yourself that you can have both, but see how long you can go each day without giving in. Eventually you'll be able to go all day, a few days, a week... etc.

Just some ideas. Good luck!!