I had been feeling very Zen like lately. Which is strange for me. Very, very strange. It’s not that I am highly-strung or anything. But I am jittery. Fidgety. I cannot stand sitting still. I bounce from one emotion to the next. I worry about all of the things I have to do that I did not make time for.
But somehow over the last few months something shifted. I began to feel more...peaceful. Instead of bouncing from over the moon ecstatic to painfully ordinary feeling in a heartbeat, I am stable. I am happy. It doesn’t take one silly little thing to throw me into the depths of despair anymore.
Or at least I was feeling that way.
Feeling particularly Zen like at the coast, I was congratulating myself on the great work/school/life balance I have going on at the moment. And I thought ‘hey, this is the perfect time to start working on other aspects of my life.’ So I decided to focus on getting enough sleep, getting regular exercise and eating healthily. How could that do anything but make me feel fantastic? And considering I have an intolerance to sucrose and glucose that results in debilitating migraines, that was the first thing to go. That and caffeine.
As much as I hate to admit it, getting up early in the morning to exercise does leave me feeling pretty fantastic. And sleeping a bit longer feels pretty wonderful too.
But this whole giving up sugar and caffeine thing?
Worst. Decision. Ever.
I feel awful. I am tired and shaky. My head is pounding. I can barely keep my eyes open past three.
And I am angry.
God I am angry. I found myself yesterday wishing it was socially acceptable to hit people over the head for talking to me. Boy do I wish it was. I am the opposite of Zen. I am a raging, teeth grinding, Godzilla woman on a rampage.
I am giving it a week. One week without sugar and caffeine. If my head hasn’t exploded or I haven’t killed someone by then I deserve a medal.
Stupid everything.
Comments
i don't drink much coffee (i just enjoy the walk to the cafe with people at work more so i can leave my desk and have a chat) but i probably eat more sugar than i even realise, it seems impossible to escape!
good luck with it though!
(and thanks for the comment re: weddings. I'm still unsure about it all, Iceland is looking pretty awesome at the moment :)
But don't be too hard on yourself. You're trying to give up sugar AND caffeine! Those are two things bodies sometimes RUN on. Maybe start with taking out just a little at a time? It doesn't necessarily have to be all-or-nothing. But whatever you decide to do, we're proud!
Seriously, I had to cut caffeine a few years back because I had a cyst. The doc said that many people are prone to cysts, and caffeine seems to make them happen. She told me either I could quit caffeine or come in to get cysts drained regularly. I mean, I even had to stop eating almonds because of their caffeine content!
I am back on the stuff now, but I've cut waaaay down. I think from time to time that it might be better to quit again all together.
How are you doing with it?
Also, I find that when I say I definitely can't have something, I want it more. If I say I can have it whenever I want, but just a little, it helps. Also, maybe tell yourself that you can have both, but see how long you can go each day without giving in. Eventually you'll be able to go all day, a few days, a week... etc.
Just some ideas. Good luck!!