An Ode to Darkness

It is only you, darkness, who have seen everything that I am. The pieces of me, hidden away, that no else but you and I know. The tears that have silently fallen. The heart that has broken so many times. The nights spent tossing and turning. Wondering why I am just not good enough.

The disappointments and the forgotten dreams that I have carelessly thrown under the bed; only to take out when I am feeling especially self-destructive. You see all of that too.

You have seen the fights that have lasted until sun-rise, when light has broken through resentment and anger, and the world seems new again.

Damn you. Damn you for making the truth so much easier to say. I throw the words out, and then wrap you like a blanket around me. Knowing that everything will be different from that moment on.

You were there the first time I said I love you. To both of them. Though neither time I meant it. That came later. You saw that too.

You have been there for stolen kisses and whispered promises. For nights spent dancing under the stars, anonymous and free. For wonderful mistakes. For love. For laughter.

You were there the night after I made my vows. When we lay together wrapped in our dreams, so sure that everything would be perfect from that moment on.

It wasn’t. You would have known that at the time. You would have laughed at our childish Hollywood notions. But you would also have known that I wouldn’t have preferred it any other way.

You see my smile, as I fall asleep at night. Knowing that there is still so much that you have yet to see.