I had a completely different post all nice, edited and ready for you; but I’ll just have to save that for a rainy day. So you get an unedited and messy post today instead. But hey, sometimes they’re the best kinds. Though probably not in this case.
Today I want to talk about victim-mentality. I know I have it. Most of us do, to some extent.
We’re all so eager to be complaining about something. If we have nothing to do then we’re bored. If we have a lot to do then we’re overloaded.
I found myself over the last week becoming more and more unhappy as I looked at all that I had to do. And I complained. Oh boy did I complain. And I had thoughts like ‘this is so unfair’ or ‘my life sucks.’ I blamed the world, rather than myself. When really, the world didn’t throw all of this at me. I took it in with open arms.
So many of us want to be busy. We rush around trying to fit in as much as we possibly can. We want to do everything, and achieve everything right this very second. And when we finally start to crack under all of this pressure that we have piled onto ourselves, we never point the finger at the real villain.
As I said, last week I bitched and moaned. And began to freak out when I looked at EVERYTHING that I had to do. But one particularly stressful day, as I desperately tried to study for an assignment that I knew three weeks in advance that there was NO WAY IN HELL I was going to be able to get done, I realised something: I don’t have to do it. No one is holding a gun to my head. And two minutes later I had un-enrolled from the class.
Yes, sometimes if we can’t get everything that we want done we feel like a failure. But isn’t it better than the alternative? To rush through something, worn out and unhappy, simple to get to the end and realise that we didn’t enjoy a second of it? I would rather slowly work at achieving my dreams and revel in them when I got there, rather than rushing into them and burning out within a year.
If something in your life is making you tired, overwhelmed, or just plain unhappy; then change it. Even if it’s scary to start from scratch all over again. And if you don’t change it, accept that it’s your decision. It’s so much easier to get through something if you know that you’re choosing to be there. That you have weighed up the pros and cons and that whatever you’re doing is worth continuing on with.
I know that there are exceptions, there are always exceptions; and keep in mind that I am writing from the point of view of a middle-class girl who always has back-up support, whether financially or emotionally should I need it. So I’m not really an expert on hardship. But I AM an expert on complaining. On playing the victim card. On biting off more than I can chew.
And I have come to realise that almost everything in life is within our control. And the stress and unhappiness that we sometimes feel is often the direct result of our own actions. So here’s to changing that victim mentality to an ‘I am the god of my own destiny mwahahaha’ mentality; and changing what needs to be changed, while holding on as hard as we can to what is really important.