The Many Colours of Happiness

This is my inspiration when things get a bit tough. When all I want to do is hide away from the world. Husserl has restored to things their horror and their charm. He has restored to us the world of artists and prophets: frightening, hostile, dangerous, and with it's havens of mercy and love. He has cleared the way for a new treaties on the passions that would be inspired by this simply truth, so utterly ignored by the refined among us: If we love a woman, it is because she is lovable. We are delivered from Proust. We are likewise delivered from the 'internal life': in vain would we seek the caresses and fondlings of our intimate selves, like Amiel, or like a child who kisses his own shoulder- for everything is finally outside: everything, even ourselves. Outside, in the world, among others. It is not in some hiding-place that we will discover ourselves; it is on the road, it the town, in the midst of the crowd, a thing among things, a human among humans. -Jean Paul Sartre

I have been reading Les Miserables over the last few weeks, and it honestly has changed my entire outlook on life. Don't you just love books like that? So rare, but when you find them they are worth a million hours spent reading. There are a group of students in the book who are dreamers. They are revolutionaries. They want to change the world. They sit around and have discussions around human rights, politics and the universe. They spend hours sitting in the streets of Paris observing the people. Observing the world. They meditate under trees and think about important issues. They think about life. And it made me realise how shallow and unimportant so much of the world is. So much of my life. So many hours are wasted discussing clothes and television, rather than ethics and altruism. I know a lot of people think this all sounds stupid. That sitting around dreaming is a waste of time. But what were we given brains for if not to think with? Why were we born in this amazing world if ...

I read an article in the newspaper a while back about the amazing imagination that children have. The incredible way they see the world. The woman writing the article had a daughter who used weather to describe her moods. For example she would say she felt 'thunderstorm' or 'rainbows'. I think this is perfect. I never feel as if words like 'sad' or 'ecstatic' can ever come even close to covering how you are feeling. But thunderstorms and rainbows? Now that's the way to describe things! Today I am feeling sun-showery. How are you feeling?

I cried the other day. For no reason at all. I couldn't stop. It was like all of my worries, frustrations and heartbreaks came out at once. And it hurt. Really hurt. But the next day I woke up feeling like a whole new person. Well, not a whole new person. But the beginnings of one. It was if the tears of the day before really had washed everything away. And when I stepped outside the sun seemed that little bit brighter, my step a little bit lighter, and I fell in love with life all over again. 

1. Making cupcakes. There is nothing better! The mixture tastes amazing all the way through and you can decorate them any colour that you want afterwards! 2. Dancing around my room to music that I love. Downside: I look amazing in my head, but when I go out I realise my imagination has deceived me once again.. 3. Happy music in general. It always puts me in a good mood :) 4. Watching my favourite movie or reading my favourite book. I can do either of these activities over and over and over again and I am just as happy every time. 5. Going for a walk. Especially in spring, when all the cherry blossoms are out and the whole world is transformed. 6. Hugging my cats. Or my friends. Or Joel. But my cats can purr so they win. 7. Playing piano and getting lost in the music. 8. Road-trips! Singing loudly at the top of our lungs and getting into crazy situations. 9. Sleepy conversations about life, love and the universe 10. The person who stuck teddy bears to trees along the highway to the coas...

I am going to a 'Bohemian Masquerade Ball' tonight. I am quite excited. I have never been to anything 'Masquerade' before and it is such a romantic word (is it French? Because the French seem to make all their words sound romantic). There will be magicians, gypsy bands, cabaret, burlesque and circus acts. Is that not the perfect combination? I went to something similar last week, called 'The Gangsta's Ball'. It was amazing, everyone was dressed in 1920's-50's clothes and it was just like we stepped back in time... to a very confused era of time that wasn't sure which decade it was, but it still looked wonderful! And I just love dressing up. My favourite part of that night though was looking at the view from our hotel. My partner had booked the top floor of an apartment directly in the middle of Sydney city that had windows all around. I wish I had taken a photo, it was if the whole sky was filled with colour and we were in the middle of it. I am...

This is a continuation from my last post. I got a comment from Brandi of http://www.notyouraverageordinary.com/ (no idea how to link people properly...wait I figured it out!) that said it helps to write your intentions on a wall. Well this is kind of a wall isn't it? A virtual one yes, but it will do :) Anyway I thought it was a great idea (thank you Brandi!). I was already thinking about a post like this, after writing down one of the quotes from Rocket Science (yes I know, I am scarily obsessed with this movie): 'Do you want to hear your problem? You have no agenda. Strictly head in the ground material. Look at me. Look at me. I wake up every morning and what do I do? I create an agenda for the day, which is a sub-agenda for the month. Which is in itself a pie-slice of my agenda for life.' Though it was said by the 'miniature Hitler' of the movie, I still really like it. It made me think.. what do I want out of life? And I guess what I would like out of life is t...

It’s time for a change. A life overhaul if you will. I have wasted so much time feeling sorry for myself, blaming the world when things went wrong. Or blaming myself and getting depressed and frustrated... but not doing anything productive or making an effort to change the circumstances I was in. I’m tired of always getting second best simply because that is all I have aimed for. Over the years I have developed an almost learned helplessness. I get into trouble, mess up, then fall back on the people I love and they fix it for me (when it is usually my own mistake). For example I am terrible with money. Absolutely awful. I will agree to do anything at any time regardless of cost, then turn around and realise I can’t pay my phone bill, or afford the bus, or food. Then someone bails me out. I thought moving out would automatically turn me into an adult. I would become responsible over night. Well it turns out I actually have to make an effort and work at this type of thing. It is the sa...