Before I start, I just want to say that I love my apartment. Love it. But sometimes the lack of space can be...difficult to say the least. So I have comprised a list of ways that encourage you to make the most of the two rooms (No, not two bedrooms. Two rooms) that you have.
Tip 1: Get a cat. Nothing is more fun than vacuuming up cat hair constantly. And when you forget, it can be quite amusing to watch your cat walk around the house eating its own hair off of the carpet.
This will also result in its throwing up, which gives you the added bonus of having to clean it up. You will be doing this so often you won’t even notice the lack of space.
Having a cat also saves money in terms of plants, flowers, Christmas trees and any hanging decorations. Why? Because you can’t have them. The cat will eat them. Poisonous flowers? You bet. House plants? It will eat THE ENTIRE THING. Tinsel? Yum yum.
Tip 2: Get a second cat. Because the first cat will be lonely, and that’s no fun. Then the cats can amuse each other by racing around the house at 2am. Their favourite place to run will be over your head. In your sleep deprived state, you will be too tired to care about lack of space.
You will also have the pleasure of discovering that the second cat likes to hide your slippers. Looking for your slippers makes you realise how big your apartment actually is. There are so many great places to hide things!
Tip 3: Don’t buy a dryer. It’s much more fun to wear wet clothes during winter. Shivering is a great way to lose weight, right?
Tip 4: Forget that you live next door to people and put a picture up at 11pm. As you have not learned how to put hooks or nails in yet, use blu-tack. Get it to stay up by banging on it really really really hard.
Lie back and enjoy your neighbour’s retaliation at 9am on a Saturday morning, as he decides to drill into the wall. This will force you to get up early and make the most of the day. Win-win.
Tip 5: Become a drug addict (Note: this step I have not followed just yet). There are so many dealers parked in the driveway to the apartment that it just seems silly to pass up the opportunity.
Tip 6: Make sure that your balcony door locks itself when you shut it. Don’t notice this until you have gone onto the balcony in your towel, one hour before you’re due at work.
Tip 7: Buy a work out video. Make sure it’s something completely ridiculous like ‘Go-Go Dancing’. Realise that you look hilarious when you do it. Get up really early to exercise so that your partner can’t see you. Now you can call yourself a morning person and feel superior.
Tip 8: Sprain your ankle. Getting up and down six flights of stairs has never been so exciting!
Tip 9: As you don’t have a glass door for the shower, buy a shower curtain. One you can’t see through. Remember that you are deathly afraid of showers after years of horror movie viewing. Spend your shower peeking fearfully around the curtain ever few seconds in case there is a murderer. This will get the endorphins racing, making sure that you are completely awake nice and early.
Tip 10: Leave the grill on. After six hours it will start to spark dramatically. It will be like having your very own fireworks in your apartment!
Bonus Tip: Write a blog post about it :)