Friday, May 27, 2011

Shut up....Me?

Sometimes I wonder if we’re all inherently self-destructive. If, when it comes down to it, we are our own worst enemies.

Sometimes this is manifested in obvious ways, like eating disorders and alcoholism. But most of the time it’s hidden below the surface. Hidden where no one else can see it.

But the damage is just as real.

It could be nasty comments to yourself: an ‘I’m so disgusting’ when looking in the mirror, a ‘look at how fat my thighs are’ when trying on what was before that day your favourite dress. It could be negative thoughts like ‘no one likes me’ when people are too busy with exams or work to see you, or an ‘I’m so stupid’ when you make one mistake. It could be doing small self-destructive things that others can’t see or can’t see for what they are, like looking at a facebook you shouldn’t, binge eating because you’re sad, or starting an argument with a loved one simply because you need a reason to hurt.

I see it around me every day, both in myself and others. This urge to inflict emotional pain on ourselves, to put ourselves down, to talk about ourselves in way that we would never talk about anyone else.

To judge ourselves in a way that we would never judge anyone else.

To belittle ourselves for being human.

So I’m taking a stand. Against myself. Because it’s high time I started treating myself the way I deserve to be treated. And stopped being such a bitch.

So here’s to giving ourselves a break. And to becoming a little nicer and a whole lot happier in the process.

xoxo

46 comments:

Sara Louise said...

I learned the lesson a few years ago that if we don't treat ourselves right, why should we expect anyone else to? You gotta love yourself! :-)

Ms. Chapatti said...

I really need to be able to do that myself.
take and stand and give myself a break!

Laura said...

Just found your blog. It is so refreshing! Can't wait to read more. I'm your newest follower!

I need to be nicer to myself as well. I really am my own worst critic. Maybe it's time I give myself a break.

Tiq said...

You are such a beautiful light. Thanks for this encouraging post Kaylia.

Now let’s be happy, healthy, and most in love with ourselves than we have ever been!!

Have a nice weekend my friend!

Magdalena Viktoria said...

I love this post--and the stand you're taking. I'm going to take it, too. Too much of negativity in our life is our own doing. We have a choice not to self-destruct.

Thanks for writing this!
xx

Toni said...

I love this. I need to be so much better at this myself. Cheers to ourselves :) Thanks for the great post!

Imogen said...

I agree with this 100 per cent but it just seems so much easier said than done. It can be so difficult to stop that negative voice in my head...

The Book Florist said...

Very well put. It's amazing how we feel a certain way about ourselves and imagine everyone thinks the same, way. But the truth of the matter is, I've discovered only very recently, that they don't think like me at all. They see something totally different, something smarter, funnier, prettier than I see. And it's amazing also, when you hear your friends' discontent with themselves, too, and think, "that is not true at all! I find it hard to believe that you can think like that!" it just goes to show a lot, doesn't it?

ellie's desk said...

We truly are our worst enemy. I have to make more time for myself. But I'm afraid ice cream would be involved so there is that side of the coin too.

lucy and sarah said...

Just what I needed to read this morning. Thanks. Hope you have a wonderful weekend. I really like this idea.

Mandy said...

What a great post, I totally agree...I belittle myself all too often about way to many things...I need to take a stand as well! Thanks for the posting!

Alexa said...

Very true...and a good thing to stop and reflect on. Have a great weekend!
alexa
www.theshortandthesweetofit.com

~BB~ said...

girlfriend - you are speaking straight to me! I love this post - it's inspiring and kinda the kick-in-the-ass that we all need sometimes. You are so right about the negativity! Thank you!

amy b.s. said...

i am definitely my worst critic. and i'm a mean critic. good for you for taking a stand. i think we all need to.

Kacey Hayes said...

Very thought-provoking post... I wonder how to get started...

Ash said...

Hmm this is definitely something I need to work on.

demie said...

my motto is : never say anything to myself that I would`t say to a loved one... is not as easy as it sounds. As everything else in life needs discipline ...
Lots of love from the North : )

Eleanor said...

i absolutely love this post. loving yourself and being kind is so so important.
have a wonderful weekend
ellie x
mirrorofmyworld.blogspot.com

Bonnie said...

It's so true. I tend to have a self-destructive streak because I can be hyper critical of myself. I think that most women are like this, at least in some way. It is important to think positively about yourself, otherwise your perception of yourself will impact how others view you.

http://www.glamkittenslitterbox.com/
Twitter: @GlamKitten88

Young People in Love said...

I totally agree with all this! We are so, so hard on ourselves.

becky said...

So well said. And so, so true. I love you wisdom--it always, always resonates with me and powerfully so.

Aquí said...

Great words of wisdom. Its completely unintentionally but we put our selves down everyday to some degree. At least I do, I used to think that I was just hard on myself knowing I should be striving for better but you're so right on with this post. We all need to give ourselves a break. Great Friday post :)

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

OH GOODNESS, I totally relate to this post.

Indie.Tea said...

I very much do that to myself. Especially in blogging...I often feel the urge to take down posts and photographs because they aren't 'good enough'.
But I do think loving yourself is one of the keys to happiness.

the runaway romantique said...

A really great post. Honest and wise. I tend to be extremely harsh on myself as well but this post has inspired me to try and break the habit :) Thanks and I hope you have a lovely weekend, sweetie!

- the runaway

keishua said...

Yes, I can be my own worst enemy. I got caught in a vicious cycle of perfectionism this week and it was not pretty. I right there with you standing.. Have a lovely weekend.

Deidre said...

This is so hard to do.

I am constantly struggling with this when it comes to the job search. It's hard to stay positive, but it is so imperative!

Meher said...

Hey, on completing my 100 posts, I just wanted to give away an award to my most favourite bloggers, of which you are one. Check it out at http://goo.gl/pRrai . Thanks!

a work in progress said...

*stands up, applauding*

i REALLY needed to read this today.




thank you.
srsly.

Alysia Pollock said...

always be your number 1! great post! thanks for stopping by my blog again girl! see ya soon!

www.modishmoxie.com

Brandi {not your average ordinary} said...

Kaylia, you're definitely right. I'm my own biggest critic and sometimes I can be really hard on myself. I'm trying to work on easing up a little bit, and I think I'm succeeding. Slowly.

Indigo said...

Gorgeous post! I'm definitely guilty of picking on myself - but then I realised that if other people said the things I say to myself, I wouldn't stand for it... so why should I take it from me? Now I try to catch myself mid-negative thought and turn it around :]. x

Mimi said...

beautifully written! i agree, sometimes we really are our own worst enemy. i am with you on standing up to myself! :)

<3, Mimi
http://whatmimiwrites.blogspot.com/

Ann said...

Love reading your posts,
makes me think of little things in a cool way...
Love your blog and now I'm following you.

Cassidy said...

Amen! There is so much hatred that exists in the world already; why must we add to it? Let alone, why must be criticize ourselves? We must appreciate and accept who we are and who were were meant to be. Because that, for me at least, it was happiness is. And I have discovered how much more wonderful life is when I can love myself!

Marie said...

Good post!:D

We all should be kind to ourselves for once!:D

***** Marie *****
allthingsmarie.com

Chelsea Lane said...

gah, so true girl. need to start saying more positive things to myself in the mirror! ;)

xoxo

Lipsy said...

Very Encouraging Post...
Keep Penning!!!
http://fashionquotient.blogspot.com/

Ashley said...

well said lady!

We are our own worst enemies...I'm sick of it :)

Jazzy E (hivenn) said...

Brissa said...

thanks for the reminder. i feel this is something you can learn once but have a tendency of forgetting. so this post is greatly appreciated.

iris said...

We talk about something similar in 'women in computer science' events. We actually begin to question if talking about how women have self-esteem problems actually causes self-esteem problems...but that might just be an overemphasis on analyzing the situation. Ah, academics!

Karls said...

Totally picking up what you are putting down.

http://karlosophies.blogspot.com/2011/05/forgiveness.html

Funny that we'll give others the courtesy we never give ourselves.

Jessica said...

Beautiful. And well-timed. We are always our own worst-critics. And you're right to encourage us to stop berating ourselves. If WE don't love ourselves fully, how can we expect anyone else to? What a wonderfully honest post, Thank you.

Anonymous said...

[p]Here is an idea about a simple but elegant Pandora glass beads jewelry set which including a necklace and a bracelet . They are one of women隆炉s favorites . Many people across the globe have been fooled by sellers, who claim to sell genuine Pandora jewelry, when in fact they are selling fake ones . 4 mm . You'll discover types of anklet bracelets which can [url=http://www.linksoflondonringuk.co.uk]links of london ring uk
[/url] be popular presently along with choosing which great anklet bracelets will help everybody peek the girl best along with which wedding . A lot of these bracelets [url=http://www.linksoflondonbraceleted.co.uk]links of london jewellery[/url] include many tones and even sizes and shapes, and even all are which will fit considering the expressly crafted golden and magical Pandora rings . houseplanarchitect . The background of Thomas Sabo can really be a particularly fascinating, and gives a remarkable choice with numerous designs and styles of diamond jewellery provided by thomas sabo bracelet elegant assortment Club to decide

This was mainly due around the end of 1980 . It [url=http://www.llinksoflondon.co.uk]links of london[/url] is the time to prepare some spring jewelries for yourself and friends.[/p][p]Also, women of all ages for example personal preference for the treat, a tight design outside platinum eagle thomas sabo outlet anklet bracelets, allow the girl have the beautiful take [url=http://www.linksoflondonringuk.co.uk]links of london bracelets uk[/url] pleasure in also, as well as the very good model increase gadgets, to assist eliminate a few gulls having only 1 gem . This kind of custom charms is very uncommon . So long as you happen to be pleased with the trustworthiness of the selection of retailer, [url=http://www.linksoflondonbraceleted.co.uk]links of london jewellery sale
[/url] which suggests locating a reputable seller, you are going to be all set to get pleasure from a broad collection of jewellery at aggressive costs . The added sparkle that the [url=http://www.linksoflondonbraceleted.co.uk]links of london bracelet sale[/url] previously mentioned beads add to a simple design is absolutely breath-taking! Sometimes people do want a necklace or bracelet that is simply made 篓C using only one type of bead such as the curved tube beads with 2 mm round space . Cad or Computer-aided-design is actually helping a industrial sector in order to create patterns, sketches and additionally skins by way of Computer-aided-design software system . You will definitely discover alternative choices with running watches, ear-rings and even charms that is specified to meet the specific requirements, Via virtually any preserve, you will find a extensive alternative to popular looking for your current Sabo appeal and also necklaces composed of plastic, material, household leather and ceramic . If you're keen to be individual and exclusive, Thomas Sabo [url=http://www.linksoflondonbraceleted.co.uk]links of london bracelet[/url] produces charms that allow you to do this with relieve . The [url=http://www.linksoflondonringuk.co.uk]links of london bracelets[/url] initial bracelets this combine auburn brown, brownish and dark colored leather with gold are the latest take during accessories to get guys.[/p]

Anonymous said...

[p]These days, in addition to their well-known footwear, UGG making different products . Layered inside plush sheepskin, a Ascot is also snug their home as it would be while you are running trying to take hold of the actual daytime document . The Appearance Of Classic Cheap Ugg Boots Sale Are Perfect GreatYou may wonder cheap christian louboutin that why the prices of them are so cheap . As [url=http://www.ugbootsinuksale.co.uk]ugg boots sale uk[/url] soon as quiz, you will almost automatically fail genital herpes virus treatments uncover . The top [url=http://www.ugbootsinuksale.co.uk]ugg boots in uk[/url] of the box is no longer attached to the bottom . In [url=http://www.ugbootsinuksale.co.uk]ugg boots uk[/url] the past, only the sandals can use a transparent design . Sharing a little of my experience, I can say that it is very difficult for me to find shoes that are comfy . So no matter what, [url=http://www.ugbootsinuksale.co.uk]ugg boots uk sale cheap[/url] the "in" thing for your closet this year is stylish boots for ladies, and you are sure to find a pair that is within your budget . It is always easier to make a garment smaller than [url=http://www.ugbootsinuksale.co.uk]ugg boots uk sale outlet[/url] to try to enlarge it.[/p]