My recent trip to the doctor was...erm...interesting to say the least. Basically it went something like this (keeping in mind that not once during my visit did I cough, clear my throat, or breathe abnormally).
Doctor: So how can I help you today?
Me: Well I have been sick for about a month
Doctor (interrupting): Do you have asthma?
Doctor: Do you have a family history of asthma?
Me: Not really...I mean my brother had it when he was really little
Doctor: So you have a family history. I thought so.
Me (confused): Umm...well ok. Anyway... (Proceeds to rattle of symptoms such as fever, sore throat, vomiting etc...But does not mention coughing, breathing difficulties or anything to do with the functions of my lungs AT ALL)
Doctor (nodding thoughtfully): I see. You have asthma.
Me: Oh I really don’t think I do...I’m mostly worried about the fever...
Doctor (interrupting again): I’ll go get you a puffer
Goes to retrieves puffer, gives it to me and gets me to use it.
Doctor: Now see, isn’t that much better?
Me(lying to move appointment along): Oh yes, much better. Also, do you have idea why I have been running a fever and throwing up?
Doctor: I have no idea.
Me: Could it be due to a sinus infection? Which I get often? Maybe that would explain the fever?
Doctor: Maybe. I’ll give you antibiotics just in case (hands me a script for the strongest antibiotics on the market)
Doctor: Now I’ll just check you over.
I’m going to stop right here and tell you that THIS is where the story gets weird/er. She pulled out a stethoscope and proceeded to practically molest me. I understand that they put the stethoscope to your chest to check your breathing/hearts etc. (though most I go to just listen from the back)
But never before have I been fondled like that by a doctor!!!! She put it on areas of my chest where she had NO CHANCE of hearing anything! I also didn’t realise that they have to openly peer down your shirt at the same time...
Well anyway, after the most awkward 5 minutes of my life (yes, this continued for five minutes) she then sat back down and said:
‘Now I’m supposed to tell you that the antibiotics I gave you will affect the pill...but personally I think that is just a myth.’
Me: I guess it’s better to be safe than sorry *forces laughter* har har har
End of appointment.