lessons I learned from a romantic

Firstly, thank you for all for your wonderful comments. You guys are seriously the most inspiring group of people I know. In fact, I made everyone I know read your comments to show them how insightful and amazing you are, and they agreed!

And secondly, sorry about my absence. Someone very close to me just went through their first break up (and boy oh boy was it a nasty one. I don’t want to share personal details, but trust me, it was horrible), and so I have moved in with them for a couple of weeks.

Seeing her go through this was been just awful, but seeing her recover? Now THAT is amazing. This girl has been so amazing and strong about the whole thing; and considering I am the type of person to melt down when Joel gets the wrong type of milk or when I run out of shampoo, she has been teaching me so much.

But what she ended up really teaching me surprised even myself. You see, I am not a romantic. Not in the slightest. Neither is Joel. While we love each other (obviously; I’m not in the habit of marrying people I don’t love), it is in a very independent way. We have our own lives, as well as our life with each other.

And I hate to say it, but I judged this girl. Because she fell hard. She did not hold back. She committed to him completely, with every bone in her body. And I was not happy to see this. Because what if it didn’t work out? I loved her, and she would be hurt. And so I kept trying to warn her, to tell her to pull back just a little bit.

And I was right, it didn’t work out.

But she was okay.

And I realised that maybe I was wrong. Her ability to trust and love completely, without any reservations, is not something I should be trying to stamp out of her for fear she might get hurt again. It’s actually a gift. While this time she happened to give it to the wrong  man, one day she will give it to the right man. And that man will then be the luckiest guy in the whole world.

Life is too short for doubts. Holding back for fear of getting hurt could ruin something that could have been wonderful if only you had let yourself feel it completely. And yes, you probably will get hurt. No one gets it right the first time. But you will recover. And move on. And find someone worthy of all that love that you have to offer.

So everyone: Love as much and as hard as you can. Don’t hold back. Scream it from the rooftops (if you happen to be near one and no one else but your love is around...). And tell them. Tell them everyday. Let them hear it in your words, see if in your eyes, and taste in on your skin. And don't let an unromantic like me tell you otherwise.

ps. I am not in any way saying to put your happiness in someone else’s hands. I really believe that unless you’re happy alone, you can’t be happy with someone else. But this loving completely is a whole different kettle of fish, and one that I strongly encourage.