My advice? Don’t ever put yourself in that situation. Live a wholesome life full of flowers and cupcakes and braiding people’s hair. Because Karma is not someone you want to mess with.
How did I manage to get on Karma’s bad side you ask? Here is my sob story, I hope you brought tissues. *disclaimer: I try to be somewhat classy most of the time...but sometimes I am not. Please don’t judge.
It all started when I visited to parents to find my sister and her friends in the kitchen. My sister was in quite a state of excitement (she is always in quite a state of excitement) because of Chlamydia testing.
But wait, there's more! ...
...Chlamydia testing that pays $10 per person!!!
Basically to encourage young people in the ACT to get tested, they are PAYING people to get tested. And there were 6 places doing this in Canberra.
You can imagine I was in quite a state of excitement as well after I heard this. A system kindly designed to encourage young people to get tested for the good of their health? This MUST be taken advantage of!!! We could make $60 by simply peeing in a few cups. Best way to earn money ever?!
No. But still, not bad.
And so take advantage of the system we did. We got to $30 each before my friend (who I had so nicely forced to come with me) said something about not wanting to do anymore because she only wanted $30 worth of bad karma.
And then I said those fateful words (if this was a movie dramatic music would be playing right now and a sign would be pointing at me saying 'Big Mistake'):
‘Karma can suck it’ (or something equally lady-like).
As soon as I said it a feeling of foreboding came over me. I had messed up. And now all I could do was sit and wait for Karma to get revenge. As I would be driving my sister and brother to a concert in Sydney the next day, and not getting home until 5am, I was rather worried that Karma’s revenge would come in the form of me falling asleep at the wheel and leaving mum and dad childless.
That obviously didn’t happen. What did happen was that my sister (see older post) had set her GPS to the unpaved roads option. My car is old. It did not like dramatically crashing through pot holes. It didn’t like it so much that the whole suspension is now ruined. $1500 worth of ruined.
But hey, at least I didn’t kill off half my family. That’s something right?
Long story short, never tell Karma to suck it.
*note: this was written well before my other post. So I am still winning the challenge. Therefore I am still winning at life...only my car isn't. :)