Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Dreaming big..and why not?

With all of the disasters occurring, so many people losing their homes and their families, it really makes you reassess your life, doesn’t it? Something can happen, and in the blink of an eye it’s all gone. No one sees it coming. And suddenly your whole world turns upside-down forever.

Before I begin rambling on, I just want to say that my heart goes out to all of those that have lost in this tragedy. And it is wonderful to see the world banding together to help out those in need.

To donate to the cause I recommend Save The Children. They are a fantastic organisation, with almost every cent you donate heading overseas (I think it’s 90-95%, correct me if I’m wrong).

As soon as I heard about what happened, I couldn’t help but think: How many of the people affected were living the lives they wanted. How many were following their dreams, not matter what the risks? How many were standing up for what they believe in?

And how many were unhappy?

I don’t want to die tomorrow knowing that I always played it safe.

I want to say that I followed my dreams. Took chances. Cared, loved, laughed and lived with everything that I had.

In the past I have always picked what was safe. When, at the age of 17 I had to decide what to do with my life (don’t get me started on the system!); I didn’t go with what I wanted to do. I didn’t choose what would make me happy, something I had a real passion for. I chose what would get me a job. Social Work wasn’t a passion, it was snap decision made a month before I had to apply for university. And while I convinced myself to care about it, because I couldn’t stand the thought of not knowing where I was going, I always knew deep down that I was just not politically correct enough to ever be any good at it.

I have started lately to feel like I did back when I was 17. I am not entirely sure what I want to do. I am not sure whether what I am doing is because I am playing it safe all over again. I love teaching. I really do. But I am still not sure whether that is what I want to do with my life. Is loving something enough to put all of that work into it?

I need to feel that passion. That excitement. Knowing that I will wake up every morning happy because this is what I want. With all of my being. This is it.

When I was younger I was so sure I was going to do something amazing. Not to be confused with being famous. But I was going to create something. Something special. Something that will still be there long after I’m gone.

That passion disappeared after a while. I settled into my comfortable little life. I settled into the idea of ordinary. It is not being ordinary that bothers me, not at all. But it is the idea of having so little faith in myself that I feel ordinary is all I ever will be. That I should never aim for more.

A few weeks ago a little seed of crept into my mind. About what I was doing. Where I was going. And with that seed of doubt came a spark. A spark of passion. That feeling that I had not had for a very long time. The idea that I can do anything. I can follow my dreams. I don’t need to settle for less, just because fear and doubt and a multitude of insecurities have held me back for a while.

I don’t need to succeed. Not at all. I just need to try. And know that I tried with all of my might.

So naysayers beware. I’m reaching for the stars.


Googlover/keishua said...

Save the Children is wonderful. One of my friends worked with them. I love their work.
I agree. Sometimes trying is the best thing. You never know where life will lead you. You can follow your dreams and you should. Life is too precious not to try. Doubt can eat dreams up and too many people waste their lives wondering what could have been. I have always thought that was the best thing. Go for it!

tattytiara said...

It's all about the doing. I had to do a lot of exploring before I found the path that was right for me, and now I literally get paid to do what I would do - and have done - for free. Just know what you want out of life and you'll figure out how to get it. Now on to your exciting adventure!

Jo said...

I love this post! It's so inspiring! If you're traveling on the path to your dreams, you'll enjoy every little step.

And you're so right, what is happening in Japan certainly puts things into perspective.

I'll look into Save the Children. I'm sure they're amazing!
Here in the U.S., I've always admired the work of the Red Cross.

Have a great week! And, here's to going for it!!

Anait said...

We really do forget to follow our passions and truly LIVE in the moment.....the day to day mundane things tend to overshadow all the wonderful things we should REALLY be focusing on. Good for you, for remembering what's important!

And you're right, Save the Children is seriously amazing.

Ren- Lady Of The Arts said...

Love this post- and so nice to find your blog- I made the decision to do something outside of the box, unconventional etc for myself and my monkeys- it's not something that will happen overnight but I have slowly started to verbalize to others what my plans are- ultimately they are the plans that follow more closely with what I consider my dream.

Brandi {not your average ordinary} said...

And don't ever stop reaching. I can completely relate to how you feel, Kaylia. I feel it too right now. It's why I decided to leave the PhD program I'm in. I could do it, yes, but I don't have the passion for it, I want to have. I'm terrified about what I will do, but I'm resourceful and creative and I'm sure I'll figure things out. I'm always here if you need to talk too!

Tiq said...

You always get me fascinated with your posts. This is very inspiring. Thanks for sharing this Kaylia.

a work in progress said...

awesome post! i won't say 'good luck' for we make our own a lot of the time...I'll just wish you joy on your adventure :)

Meher said...

That's such a thought! Come to think of it, even I am not able to do what I wish I could, and all this is even more depressing. I need to tighten my belts now.

becky said...
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becky said...

You've done it AGAIN---you've said it exactly what I have been thinking so much about lately---I have EXACTLY the same problem with teaching yet I can't help thinking I can do both. I want to teach so much but I want to be able to do something towards changing the education system (it's so flawed here). But I also want to write. And I also want to travel (and sometimes my fears of doing the latter almost convinces me that it ISN'T something I want to do)...

I have great respect for you for posting this and for knowing that at the end of the year, you will be travelling---something which I know will make many of your bigger dreams come true.

Thankyou, by the way, for the well-wishes! I think it is just a cold and that I am being a massive baby about it---but thankyou though :) I hope you are well!

Krysten @ After 'I Do' said...

This post is SO inspiring! Follow your dreams hon!

Krystal said...

I think if you have a way of thinking like THIS then you can do anything you want!! It's so refreshing to read and know that other people do have a head on their shoulders. You'll be FINE. and I trust that you will make these things happen :)

Mil said...

I've been feeling quite the same way lately. And wondering myself how many of those in Japan were in a happy place in their lives. I'm thinking of a career change/going back to school myself and I'm often scared to do it. But at my age (37ish!) I feel like it's now or never to make a change. I agree that as long as you're on the path to change it's better than nothing.

Jessica said...

Brava and I am so excited for you to follow your dreams!! They takes different forms sometimes, these life changes - I felt the same way when I took the leap to move to Manhattan, and even now that I know I have changed myself forever, I still have to work at a pay-the-bills job in order to keep my dream alive. The "little" step of the move was enough for now, maybe another spark will strike in time and a new life change will take place! :) I'm excited to hear what's in store for you!