Comparing yourself to others and coming up short: This is an issue that has been talked about quite a bit in blogland lately.
Normally I'm pretty good when it comes to things like that. I've gotten wiser in my old age I guess. I've learned to accept myself for who I am, and to ignore comparisons with others because it doesn't do anything but lead to dissatisfaction.
However while I was on my honeymoon all of my good work was unraveled just a little bit. Just enough so that it may have been ok, but I couldn't help but to tug on the loose strings until it wasn't.
Because all of those young beach-going girls are just so darn perfect. And I am just so darn not.
I will always be pale no matter how much sunlight I see. I will never be the kind of girl that walks around in a bikini and doesn't feel completely exposed and quite a bit embarrassed. My hair will always be messy and I will always have food on my clothes. I'll never be fashionable, mainly because I just can't bring myself to care enough. I can't do fancy hairstyles or wear heels or wrap a towel around my head after a shower like all other females seem innately to be able to do. I don't understand makeup or how sexy lingerie works. I'll never stop falling over, or dressing like a grandma. And I'll always be quite a bit awkward.
And it didn't feel very good.
Because these girls were everything I wasn't.
But then I got sick and had to spend a whole day in bed. And Joel brought me the collection of Dickens Christmas stories. And they were lovely. The characters weren't always overwhelming beautiful. But they were always completely themselves. And happy with who they were. And that was much more beautiful.
And so I made a pact with myself. To never let all of my hard work become unraveled again. And so I've stopped straightening my hair, and letting it be it's messy self. I'm wearing what I like, even if sometimes it is a little crazy. I'm accepting that the weight I was at before the honeymoon, that I had stayed at for years, is not the weight my body is supposed to be. I should never have compared myself to my friends and family because our bodies are different. I'm different And after two weeks of solid eating and a bit of weight gain, I realise now how much healthier I am. The healthiest I have ever been in fact. And it feels good.
But most importantly I have realised that all of the above stuff? Not important.
Does it represent who I am? Not really. I would much rather be represented by my words and actions, by the kindness I show and by the mistakes that I learn from everyday.
Is it focusing too much on the superficial and not making a difference in the world? You betcha.
But still. It feels good to have taken that first step towards being ok with myself. Despite what I do or don't look like. Despite the superficial aspects of life. I want to work on the inner me, to become a better person. To focus on what is important. And to stop giving things that don't matter the spotlight.
It always takes a fall to make getting up oh so much more meaningful.
I propose that from this moment on we celebrate who we are, imperfections and all. And never ever make meaningless comparisons again.
Normally I'm pretty good when it comes to things like that. I've gotten wiser in my old age I guess. I've learned to accept myself for who I am, and to ignore comparisons with others because it doesn't do anything but lead to dissatisfaction.
However while I was on my honeymoon all of my good work was unraveled just a little bit. Just enough so that it may have been ok, but I couldn't help but to tug on the loose strings until it wasn't.
Because all of those young beach-going girls are just so darn perfect. And I am just so darn not.
I will always be pale no matter how much sunlight I see. I will never be the kind of girl that walks around in a bikini and doesn't feel completely exposed and quite a bit embarrassed. My hair will always be messy and I will always have food on my clothes. I'll never be fashionable, mainly because I just can't bring myself to care enough. I can't do fancy hairstyles or wear heels or wrap a towel around my head after a shower like all other females seem innately to be able to do. I don't understand makeup or how sexy lingerie works. I'll never stop falling over, or dressing like a grandma. And I'll always be quite a bit awkward.
And it didn't feel very good.
Because these girls were everything I wasn't.
But then I got sick and had to spend a whole day in bed. And Joel brought me the collection of Dickens Christmas stories. And they were lovely. The characters weren't always overwhelming beautiful. But they were always completely themselves. And happy with who they were. And that was much more beautiful.
And so I made a pact with myself. To never let all of my hard work become unraveled again. And so I've stopped straightening my hair, and letting it be it's messy self. I'm wearing what I like, even if sometimes it is a little crazy. I'm accepting that the weight I was at before the honeymoon, that I had stayed at for years, is not the weight my body is supposed to be. I should never have compared myself to my friends and family because our bodies are different. I'm different And after two weeks of solid eating and a bit of weight gain, I realise now how much healthier I am. The healthiest I have ever been in fact. And it feels good.
But most importantly I have realised that all of the above stuff? Not important.
Does it represent who I am? Not really. I would much rather be represented by my words and actions, by the kindness I show and by the mistakes that I learn from everyday.
Is it focusing too much on the superficial and not making a difference in the world? You betcha.
But still. It feels good to have taken that first step towards being ok with myself. Despite what I do or don't look like. Despite the superficial aspects of life. I want to work on the inner me, to become a better person. To focus on what is important. And to stop giving things that don't matter the spotlight.
It always takes a fall to make getting up oh so much more meaningful.
I propose that from this moment on we celebrate who we are, imperfections and all. And never ever make meaningless comparisons again.
Comments
I definitely understand how you feel. I guess we all have those days. I used to think the same way. But eventually, what matters is that I should love and accept myself. Things have a way of turning out for the best.
Remember, a person will be just about as happy as they make up their minds to be.
Now let's celebrate !!!!
*hugsies*
Hugs!
P.S. I am hosting the very first CONTEST on the APPLE TEA, so if you like you can take part in it. It would mean the world to me. Please, visit here:
http://theappletea.blogspot.com/2011/02/contest-pick-header-for-appletea.html
but i am curious...what do you do to dry your hair if not wrap a towel around it?? haha!
Have a great time,
Paula
xx
Henar
... OH MY VOGUE!
Thankyou, again, for this post. I always come to yours when I need a little bit of womanly wisdom.
P.S - Dressing like a grandma is nothing to be afraid of. Let's embrace it!
@Krystal: I used to use a blow-dryer..now my hair just stays wet haha. Convenient :p
love
Katie Bee
i recently had a similar set of revolutionary thoughts--what if instead of focusing on the 10 lbs i think i need to lose, i focus instead on how far i've already come. and replace the i wants and i needs with i am perfect, as is. what will be, will be. my body is perfect right now, just as it is, at this moment.
and if i can focus on that, it puts an end to eating that is driven simply by guilt about what i may have previously eaten in the day, or disappointment that my body isn't more this or more that.