Monday, May 23, 2011

I wouldn't mind the satisfaction of being awesome...

As I am rather hopeless, I tend to discuss things a good two weeks-a month after they have happened. This is no exception. Back at the beginning of April I was browsing a job site when I came across an ad for a Dental Assistant position. Exciting right? Well in fact it was. Because listed on the ad under 'you will enjoy' was:

-free parking
-a rewarding career
-the satisfaction of being awesome

The satisfaction of being awesome?!

I wanted the satisfaction of being awesome!!!

I don't think I have ever been so excited about a job before. I figured that they must be the coolest people ever. Rather than a dental assistant job, I may have gotten carried away and pictured a place quite similar to Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory.

So I commissioned my brother (who is much much funnier than me) to write a cover letter in response to the ad. This is what he came up with:


13/4/2011


To whom it may concern,

I wish to apply for the Dental Assistant (and so much more) position advertised at Seek.com on the 12th of April, 2011.

Although your advertisement specifically said that no experience was necessary, I would not like my vast experience with working with teeth to go unrecognised.

I have owned and looked after my own set of teeth for the past 20 years. Admittedly I did lose quite a few of them during the early years, but somehow they seem to have grown back. I feel as if this is quite impressive.

In the past I worked as Assistant Manager in the coffee shop Gloria Jeans, and every other worker in the store also had their own set of teeth. This shows that I am able to work well in a tooth filled environment without feeling intimidated. I feel it should also be noted that during my time there, every single worker retained every one of their teeth.

In my current job as an Office Administrator at All Suburbs Cleaning Agency, the teeth to staff ratio is significantly less impressive, but that is simply due to the age of the staff working there, and not due to any fault of my own. They were like that when I got there. I am under the impression that working in a dentist office would mean that I would have to endure lengthy periods of time with people lacking in teeth, and I believe that I’ve proved that I would be up to this task without fear or repulsion.

In terms of my education, I have completed a Bachelor of Arts at the ANU, and am now studying Education at the UC, which shows that I am able to recognise when a particular pathway is a dead-end, as well as retain my teeth under pressure.

I am a confident person, friendly, and am able to present myself in a very professional manner. I am able to work autonomously as well as in a team environment, and believe that my experience and teeth will be an asset to the team. Thank you for taking the time to consider my application. I look forward to the opportunity of meeting with you and discussing how awesome I will have the satisfaction of being should I get the position.

Yours sincerely,

Kaylia Payne


Great, right? I love my brother.

But in conclusion I got an interview, and it was not like Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory. At. All. In fact, they were the most professional, boring group of people I have ever met.

I still cry at night from the disappointment.

But hey, at least I got this cover letter out of it :)

42 comments:

SJ said...

How strange that they would be boring after an ad like that! I definitely had an image of a fun dentist with lots of posters in the surgery for people to look at while they lay in the chair getting drilled. Cheesy ones like 'Hang in There!' with the cat hanging off a branch :)

Great application letter, which makes the fact that they're boring people even stranger because they obviously have a sense of humour in there somewhere!

jodeska said...

I think you AND your brother should already have the satisfaction of being awesome! Love that they had enough humour to give you an interview!

ellie's desk said...

Isn't that the way it would go. Love the post.

lucy and sarah said...

Loved the application letter!

chels.e. said...

this is too funny! and clever!
-bummer it didn't turn out better.

Jo said...

That ad of theirs was horribly misleading! Unfair!! :(

I do love your cover letter, though. You AND your brother are already all sorts of awesome, even without that dumb ol' job.
xox

Tiq said...

Very intriguing ad but too bad it didn’t reflect any of it huh.

Who would have thought that stressing out your teeth in a cover letter would landed you in an interview....hehe.
The two of you have great writing skills so that already made you guys awesome.

Carrie Rosalind said...

Greatest cover letter ever! I think I need your brother's help writing one for me! lol

Too bad about them being boring after such a promising job ad! I would have totally hired you! :)

iris said...

Did you use your brother's cover letter to get the interview? Maybe they were just hiding their sense of humor under all the professionalism...or maybe they're just really sarcastic?

Imogen said...

bahahahaha, that is by far the best and probably the only funny cover letter I have ever read. Your brother is funny.

Brandi {not your average ordinary} said...

Kaylia, this cover letter is awesome. And I too would have been thrilled to discover that job listing. Serious bummer about them being so boring though. Ah well, it happens I guess.

Alexa said...

Dude that is in fact AWESOME. haha. Your brother sounds hilarious.
Alexa
www.theshortandthesweetofit.com

mrs. autumn said...

That made me laugh...that is perfect! I think anyone who puts "being awesome" on the application would appreciate that.

giveaway :)

demie said...

THat was hilarious! Thanks- to you and your brother! Gosh you made me lough : D - but is still so weird they were so boring...

Mil said...

That's a great letter! I would have been quite tempted by that job ad, too. Too bad they didn't live up to your expectations.

Eleanor said...

hilarious!!! but why on earth would they put the satisfaction of being awesome if they were so boring? very odd. xxxx
mirrorofmyworld.blogspot.com

becky said...

Damn, it's such a shame that their ad was so false---that letter sure did it justice. Your brother is funny! (But so, too, are you!)

What is your Bachelor of Art in? I am curious!

P.S--I think you're pretty awesome already, you know. And I think you, too, have a cool life.

The Book Florist said...

Oh! That was just absolutely priceless! I think I nearly passed out laughing then! You've got awesome-brother-syndrome too, I see. Ah yes, I know it well. It can be one of the greatest assests on the planet. Well, good on you and what a great little story to tell! That was just fantastic. Thankyou so much for that medicine (laughter, not drugs)!

amy b.s. said...

okay, that may be the best wanted ad ever. sad they couldn't back up the awesomeness though!

Mary Grace said...

The cover letter was hilarious! I cannot believe the ad was the total opposite.

Katie Anderson said...

That is a hilarious letter! I wonder whether they got someone else to write the ad?!

Emily said...

Aw shucks!
x

AquĆ­ said...

I love this! I would have also thought these people would have been quite laid back with a sense of humor. Love the cover letter! The first part is the best!

Deidre said...

How interesting that they are boring and professional but gave you an interview anyway based on that cover letter. The professional world in Australia is totally confusing to me!

But the cover letter is awesome.

Young People in Love said...

hahaha this is amazing.

too bad they weren't awesome.

Kacey Hayes said...

That is the funniest thing I've read in a LONG time!!!!

Ann said...

Their job ad was so cool, I could be fooled too and apply...
Maybe the one who made the ad does not work in there.

Props to your bro for making such a cool application.

Victoria said...

Aww I'm sorry it was a disappointment ! But I totally agree- who wouldn't mind the satisfaction of being awesome!?!?! :D Awesome !!
And that's a really really nice written letter !

jillian m. said...

That cover letter is awesome!!! Love it!

However, what's up with them being ho-hum boring? If you're going to put up an ad like that, you need to be consistent and live up to it! Otherwise, what's the point? How deceiving!

keishua said...

great cover letter.
They may have been crazy or pretending. Maybe they are boring during the interview to make you have to be more awesome. Or it could have been a typo. Lol. Keep that cover letter, it's a goodie.

Jessica said...

What an awesome posting and cover letter! I'm sorry the truth was such an awful realization though. :(

Alysia Pollock said...

haha who wouldn't want the satisfaction of being awesome!! thanks for stopping by my blog again! :) See ya soon.


www.modishmoxie.com

christine donee said...

I had to read that several times because it was just so much fun.

Sonja said...

hehehe! That's a cute cover letter!
That sucks though, I wonder who the heck wrote their ad! If they were all so stuffy in the end. Hey, there's gotta be a Willy Wonka like work place somewhere! :o)

misslikey said...

well well must be the ghost who wrote the satisfaction of being awesome:)))
The application letter your brother wrote is the best, most unique I've ever read in my life. Should be published in the newspaper! Or at least a template on one of these boring "how to write a cover letter"pages

Mimi said...

great cover letter! :D

<3, Mimi
http://whatmimiwrites.blogspot.com/

wilybrunette said...

the satisfaction of being awesome. what must that be like?! ha, i love the cover letter.

Danielle said...

hahahahaha i love this!! you're brother is hilarious. i'm quite disappointed for you that they were boring. strange. but that letter is the best thing i've read all week!

Bonnie said...

BEST COVER LETTER EVER.

http://www.glamkittenslitterbox.com/
Twitter: @GlamKitten88

shopgirl said...

hee, hee,...:-))) I'm still laughing at this Kaylia! What an awesome, awesome cover letter! I can't believe they ended up being boring after they posted that ad. Although, I'm thinking, they probably do think they're awesome. Love you and your brother's sense of humour. Just love it!

Thanks for making me smile on this Saturday morning!
a big hug! Reese

Marie said...

That ad was misleading....

***** Marie *****
allthingsmarie.com

teacup adventure said...

so awesome! thank you for a good laugh :)