The Many Colours of Happiness

I have been to many countries across the world due to my very very very generous parents, but I have to say that when it comes to Christmas, Germany is the most magical place to celebrate it in. Every store is decked out with reds, greens and silvers; wreaths hug doorways and tinsel clings lovingly to rooftops, while Christmas music sung by deep, sonorous voices fills the brisk, fresh air. Snow covers sidewalks and falls softly onto eyelashes, colouring the scenery in a hue of cold, glittery Wonderland. Hands are warmed by gluh wein or hot chocolates spiked with rum, while the soft laughter coming from cafe chairs warms the heart. At night the Christmas spirit really comes to life as the Christmas trees that stand charming and cheerful in every city square are lit up, while the gold and silver lights than hang along walkways and link every building to one another are set ablaze, making happy faces even more beautiful in the festive glow. The people are decorated just as festivall...

Hello my lovely readers, I hope you have all had a wonderful Christmas and are looking forward to the New Year. I have to confess, I wasn't planning on blogging while I was away. The anonymity I felt as soon as I stepped off the plane into Germany was addictive, and it has been difficult bringing myself back to my life back home, even to send short emails to the people I love. But internet access, a warm and cozy bed, and vodka mixed with mango juice by my side was too much of a perfect blog writing atmosphere to simply ignore. Unfortunately I am not technology savvy enough to download photos from my facebook onto my iPad, then to upload them here, so I'll have to wait to share the aesthetics of my trip with you until I get back. For now I'll stick to the 'emotional' part of traveling. Because that's what travelling is all about really, isn't it? at least that's what I've found. While it's lovely to see history before you, to experience o...

I am totally in awe of Kaylia right now. And I mean that in two senses. I am totally in awe of what she's experiencing as she treks around my little patch of the hemisphere, but I am also totally in awe of her bravery. Sometimes, following your dreams and opening yourself up to new experiences is such a difficult thing to do, but she's doing it - and fearlessly so. There is very little I admire more than that, and very few people I admire more for doing it.  And so whilst I'm hoping that I will one day be able to do the same, I thought I'd share with you my top five wanderlusts this winter - all European, of course. There's Switzerland... ...and Prague... ...and Edinburgh... ...and Norway... ...and Paris... ...but then again, I kind of think Paris is worth visiting all year every year. It's such a beautiful little spot. Where are your favourite destinations this Christmas? Kaylia, my love, I hope you have such a wonderful time. I know you'll c...

I am heading off for Europe on Monday, eep!!! I’m going to try and update when I can, I would love to do a small post about each place. I also have some amazing bloggers lined up to do guest posts, which I’m very excited about. I have had a sneak peek at one already and it is so absolutely lovely. I won’t be commenting on blogs while I’m away (Joel would kill me I think!), but I would love for you to pop over so I can share my trip with you . And please let me know how you’re going and keep in touch, whether on here or by email. Have a wonderful Christmas everyone!!! xoxo psst, the places I’m going, in not exactly the right order (I have the worst memory)are: Munich, Rotenberg, Neuschwanstein Castle (Christmas!), Salzburg, Vienna (New Year!), Prague, Berlin, Amsterdam, Paris, Heidelberg, Cologne, Bruges and Dublin. So if you have been to any of those places and know some great things to see, or great places to eat at, any and all info will be much appreciated. :) 

I realised the other day that I have never built a blanket fort. Well of course, that had to be remedied. After looking up how exactly one would go about making a completely awesome blanket fort, and realising that there was the slightest possibility that it was maybe kinda doable in our one bedroom apartment despite the lack of blankets and space, I went home and set about rectifying my childhood that was sadly lacking in blanket forts. And that’s why I found myself under a blanket fort with Joel last night; playing Clue, drinking wine and eating the copious amount of Reece’s Peanut Butter Cups that he brought me back from the States. And while our fort was tiny and uncomfortable, and while the roof sunk lower and lower until our necks began to cramp, and while playing Clue with two players isn't nearly as satisfying as playing with four, and while the cats kept stealing our playing pieces/pencils/anything in sight that wasn’t edible and trying to eat them, it was one of the...

Tonight, as I sat in bed working on some new short stories and day dreaming, a feeling of contentment settled over me. Not the kind of contentment that comes with the cool dusk light, nor the contentment that comes with that comforting sleepiness that settles in after a certain time. No, this contentment felt…tangible. Like I could reach out and touch it. Like I could grab hold of it and keep holding onto it until I felt strong enough to let go. It filled me up, inflating me into someone more confident, more sure of themselves. More alive. I am almost afraid to fall asleep, lest my grip loosens and it dances away. But I have a feeling that it won’t. I have a feeling that on this seemingly normal spring night I found a small part of myself that I had been missing for a long time.

Today I want to talk about food. Okay, okay, I want to talk about food every day. Let me rephrase that: today I am going to talk about food. It is summer here and summer here is hot. Cooking starts to seem less like a chore and more like torture. Sticking needles in your eyeballs kind of torture. Hence the need for quick and easy salads on the days where it’s either that or cereal for the fifth night in a row. So here are two of my favourite salad recipes that are delicious, nutritious (see what I did there?) and actually manage to fill you up. Note: I never put quantities in my recipes, just go with what feels right. Rocket Salad (recipe from my sister) Ingredients: Rocket Sundried Tomatoes Baby Mushrooms Baby Spinach Feta Cheese Olive Oil (or cooking oil if you’re like me and are too cheap to pay for olive oil and can’t taste the difference. And yes, I understand that it is extremely unhealthy to do that.) Lots and lots of salt and pepper Method: Mix together in a big bowl. Ta-d...

I wrote this about a month ago when things all became a bit uncertain. They sorted themselves out in the end but I thought I'd post this anyway :) I used to turn down my nose at optimists. ‘They are setting themselves up for disappointment’ I would think, shaking my head.  I prided myself on my negative world view. ‘If it turns out badly, I won’t be too upset because it was expected’, I said, ‘and if it turns out well, I will be pleasantly surprised. Being a pessimist is a win-win.’ You see, I used to believe that optimists were those that always believed that good things were going to happen, no matter the odds. But now I see, by looking at the people around me who are always cheerful and always smiling, that optimists are really those that make the best out of any situation. Which is an amazing trait to have. Because I often find myself unable to cope when things don’t turn out that well, unable to see how it could possibly be a good thing. But lately I have made a concerted...

Do you know what I love most of all about holidays? Just how completely ridiculous they are. I mean really, who came up with the idea to decorate a pine tree in baubles and leave it in the living room? Or to eat chocolate in the shape of rabbits? Or to dress up in scary costumes and go to people’s homes and demand that they give them candy? Like I said, ridiculous. BUT that is what makes them so fun! Take Tuesday for example. It was Melbourne Cup Day in Australia. Basically it’s a horse race for all of the Australians that don’t bet on horses and don’t particularly give two hoots about any of it. But on this one day we all wear fascinators, drink a lot, bet on horses, and then proceed to yell in excitement when the race comes on. Holidays are the one time when even the grumpiest of adults joins in the fun and celebrate for no g ood reason other than that they can. As a country, sometimes even as a world, we throw up our hands and act like the most excitable of children. And th...

For a long time I have always been a firm believer that our happiness is entirely in our own hands. And it is, to some extent. But as someone who went through a hard time and got out of it, I felt like I had a right to judge people who were perpetually down. You see, when I was a teenager I was a bit...dramatic. Okay, to put it bluntly, I loved self-pity like most my age loved candy. I made no effort whatsoever to try and be happy or to appreciate all that I had, and so I sunk further and further down until it took over my whole life. I don’t like who I was back then. I resent who I was back then and I have absolutely no patience with her. Now, when I feel down, I jump on it quickly, stamping it out with gratitude journals, relaxation tapes, writing in the sun, breathing exercises, walks and time with friends. But I forget. I forget that I was handed those tools, I forget that I didn’t find them myself. That it took years of therapy for me to be the happy person I am today. Yes, ...

HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYONE!!!! Normally I am not a big fan of this holiday, mainly because creepy things scare the bejesus out of me. I can't even watch anything remotely scary without having nightmares plague my sleeping hours for weeks afterwards. But, as I reasoned when it began to approach, a holiday is a holiday, and since I love holidays I have decided to learn to love this one. And it wasn't hard. Pumpkin everything, lollies and chocolate in funny shapes, the Monster Mash playing out of most speakers, parties and dress ups? What was there not to love? Plus this year I downloaded a list of Halloween movies for wimps, so I'll be treating myself to some non-scary fun for the rest of the week (because holidays should ALWAYS be dragged out over seven days at least). So hopefully you all have a wonderful day/week full of fake skeletons, awesomely tacky decorations and scary(or not!) movies with your loved ones. And remember: You're never too old to g...

I don’t normally do any sort of life update or photo type posts, but these last two weekends were just so wonderful that I had to share. Due to the warm weather and clear sunny days we have been spending every second that we can outdoors soaking it up, which led to some lovely adventures. The weekends included: -performing at the Living Green festival -eating yummy vegan peanut butter cupcakes -walking around Florida (our annual tulip festival) -walks around the lake -reading under trees -lots and lots and lots of BBQs -early morning yoga - birthday parties -cake -a little too much punch and cider -a spontaneous trip to the Botanical gardens -making friends with lizards -dinner parties -so many different types of salad -tree climbing -meeting lovely new people ...and lots of laughter! How was your weekend? Ps. All of the photos taken by my wonderful sister Bree (the girl in the purple dress)

Do you ever have those little daydreams in your head? Those little scenes that you play out whenever you’re feeling especially down? Those happy places that you turn to when everything isn’t going exactly as you planned?  Like most girls who love literature, writing, coffee and romantic destinations, one of my sweet little daydreams is to spend a day in a Parisian café reading beautiful books and writing beautiful words, maybe I’ll stop sometimes to simply sip my latte and people watch for a while. But what I never thought about before is that a lot of my little daydreams occur right at home, in small, pretty Canberra.  In winter during work hours I often gazed out the window and imagined myself walking around the lake, breathing in the scent of flowery perfume and maybe snapping a few photos here and there. On my days off this year I often pictured myself writing on a park bench in the green, cosy park in the city; rather than sitting in my bed with the electric bla...

The beginning of spring, as beautiful as it is, comes with a price for me. Because as the flowers bloom and the wind brings sweet perfume dancing around my face, it also carries with it a bittersweet melancholy that settles into my skin. It never lasts long and quickly goes back to where it came from, to hide in wait for another year; coming back a little heavier than it was the year before. But it those few weeks I find myself dragging my feet, weighed down with lost friends and summers, memories of places that have never been as magical since. Weighed down with childhood dreams long forgotten and the person that I thought that I would be. However this isn’t a self-pity blog. The melancholy is bittersweet for a reason. Bittersweet because while I miss them, I have been lucky enough to have these sweet memories than demand my attention for a short-period of time. And so I wallow. And pay them the attention they are craving, because they deserve that much. And eventually I come to m...

Until I was eighteen, I had a bad habit of letting people walk all over me. Anyone and everyone. And I would forgive them in a nanosecond if they so much as smiled at me. Once I turned eighteen I decided that this had to change. I was going to be strong. Confident. And I’d be damned if I was going to let anyone push me around. But unfortunately I quickly swung in the other direction after that. No battle was too small for me to fight, nothing was too unimportant to let go. It wasn’t until this weekend that I realised that maybe this was just as detrimental as my old childhood attitude had been. Because this weekend I found another battle to fight. It was simple thing, a not-very-big-deal-at-all thing, but I got fired up like usual, ready to make sure that I was not to be wronged. But for once, rather than getting more and more fired up as time went on, a few hours later I just felt tired. Tired of fighting every single little battle that came my way. It was time to grow up and wa...

These past few weeks have been all about remembering to breathe.  In. Out. In. Out. Because I need new air. I need to let go of all of the now stale breaths that I collected over winter and let them flow out into the October rain. I need to cherish the new breaths that come in, roll them around my mouth and lungs, and remember the beauty that each new day brings if I am brave enough to appreciate it. You see, last month I forgot to breathe. I forgot to let go of old wrongs and I gave into melancholy and bittersweet musings. I gave into panic attacks; short shallow breathing; and days spent worrying over the future so strongly that I forgot the present completely. This month is about breathing deeply. It is about savouring every moment. And it is about focusing on the present, using my breaths to keep me centred.  

Have you ever gone to someone horribly upset and found that everything that they said just made it worse? I certainly have, and I have often found myself in the reverse situation: upsetting someone who had come to me for help. I was terrified when my loved one went through a breakup last week. Absolutely terrified. Because I have never been in a breakup and I had no way of understanding what she was going through. And so rather than giving out my usual array of advice and condolences, I had no idea what to say to her . Nothing. What could I say? And so instead, for the first time ever, I shut my mouth and simply listened. I listened to everything that she had to say, the stories that she told ten times not because she had forgotten that she had told them, but because she needed to tell them ten times. I nodded and smiled, hugged her when she needed it, and did not try to understand because I knew that I couldn't. And I helped. At least, I think/hope I did. More than I usually d...

Firstly, thank you for all for your wonderful comments. You guys are seriously the most inspiring group of people I know. In fact, I made everyone I know read your comments to show them how insightful and amazing you are, and they agreed! And secondly, sorry about my absence. Someone very close to me just went through their first break up (and boy oh boy was it a nasty one. I don’t want to share personal details, but trust me, it was horrible), and so I have moved in with them for a couple of weeks. Seeing her go through this was been just awful, but seeing her recover? Now THAT is amazing. This girl has been so amazing and strong about the whole thing; and considering I am the type of person to melt down when Joel gets the wrong type of milk or when I run out of shampoo, she has been teaching me so much. But what she ended up really teaching me surprised even myself. You see, I am not a romantic. Not in the slightest. Neither is Joel. While we love each other (obviously; I’m not in ...

For those on here that don't know: I used to have an eating disorder. One that consumed me from the ages fourteen until eighteen. Anorexia Nervosa, to be specific. But I spent so long having to talk about it in the out-patient program, then to my friends and family afterwards, that I soon tired of mentioning it, and from there it didn’t take long until I tired of thinking about it as well. But I saw a program on television a little while ago that brought it all to the forefront of my mind again. The program was like all others, trying to decipher exactly why people stop eating. The media is almost always blamed. The size of models, the obsession with looks, and the unhealthy eating habits that is often encouraged with articles like ‘I lost 6 kilos in 3 days!’ And I agree that this sort of attitude that is currently pervasive in society is detrimental. And I believe that it can contribute to people abusing food and their bodies. But it is not the cause of eating disorders. I certa...

Thank you everyone for your lovely comments on my last post! I am all better now thanks to lots of sunshine, good food and wonderful friends (including you guys!). Because I am much too hyped up after a fantastic weekend and the excitement that warm weather and dress-wearing brings, I thought I’d write a little 'gratitude/what has been going on in my life these last few months’ list, rather than anything that requires too much concentration! Things I am grateful for: -warm weather! (in case I have talked about that enough...) -tea dates with lovely people -housewarmings and dress-up parties -Europe in exactly three months from today!!!! -Becoming a permanent staff writer for lip -having a short story accepted into the annual anthology FourW (out in November, so excited!) -my Masters course at my amazing new university -family BBQs and that fact that they are becoming a weekly tradition -my dog recovering from his leg surgery much faster than expected. He is now back to his happ...

 Well this weekend, instead of doing something crazy, I got sick instead. While it put any and all things spontaneous out of the equation, it was actually really lovely to spend a whole three days recuperating, without having to do or accomplish anything.  I feel calmer now than I have in a long time. I think I needed to get sick; my body and brain were both worn thin, tired to trying to do too much, trying to meet the non-existent deadlines that I place on everything that I do.  Sometimes I forget to breathe. I forget that I need that space to just…be. To feel free, to break away from the bars I have shut myself behind and run barefoot in the sunshine.  This weekend I gave myself time, that precious gift that we hand out like misers to ourselves. A little bit here, a little bit there, but not enough to buy anything substantial. Just enough to stop us from starving, from fading away completely.  But this weekend I slept in for twelve hours each day, mak...