Friday, June 24, 2011

The Six Dirtiest Words

Lately it seems that the six dirtiest words in the English language are ‘I like the way I look’.

We rarely, if ever, hear those words come out of someone’s mouth. And if we do hear them, we are taken aback. One of the main insults I hear about girls, apart from that ever-loaded word ‘slut’, is “she thinks she’s so beautiful.” We’ll whisper it behind our hands to our friends, taking care to roll our eyes at the same time. How dare they like the way they look. How shallow. How in love with themselves they must be to think that they look nice.

But really, what is so wrong with them thinking that they do look nice? Beautiful even? And why shouldn’t they think that they’re beautiful? We all are.

We have always been told through the media that we should love the way that we look. But at the same time we are told that we need this dress, that lipstick, those shoes, to hide our flaws. To really be beautiful. We have become so used to noticing the parts of ourselves that don’t meet the conventional standards of ‘beauty’. Of buying products in a desperate attempt to change ourselves.

It has become socially acceptable to constantly insult ourselves. We stand in groups, trying to outdo each other. We pick at our faults. We focus on the bits of ourselves that we hate. It has become completely fine for us to say “I hate my mouth. My stomach. My arms or my nose”, but it’s become almost blasphemy for us to say “I love my stomach. I love the weight I am at. I think my nose is lovely.”

I don’t want to hear the women I know insult themselves. I want them to look in the mirror and see the beautiful women that I see. And I want them to own that. To feel it. To say it proudly without fear of ridicule.

So I am going to go completely against social convention and say it: I like the way I look. Heck, I even think I’m beautiful in my own way. And I refuse to be ashamed or embarrassed for saying it.

28 comments:

Autumn said...

I really appreciate this! It's totally true and it has definitely been something I have been struggling with A LOT.

Alejandra said...

good for you, thanks for posting this!

Ashley said...

I really like what you stand for in every post. I feel the same way!! Stay strong, soul sista.

Gentri said...

Wow. I absolutely love this!! Love love love this. It's completely true. Thank you for the inspiration!!
Gentrilee.blogspot.com

ellie's desk said...

Such good words to hear. I watched toddler and tiaras last night on TLC. A friend told me I should watch. It was really eye-opening. And sad, too...how we look at beauty.

Sara Louise said...

I think it's great that you've posted this. At 34 years old I am still struggling with liking the way I look, but I'm working on it. It's funny, because my husband tells me I'm beautiful everyday, and I don't know why I just can't believe him and see what he sees xo

The Book Florist said...

A sigh of relief escaped me when I saw what you were saying! I get this all the time. I'm not shy to say that I love myself, but people then reply, "you're so modest" in a sarcastic way, or whatever. But the thing is that the step of loving YOURSELF and appreciating and accepting YOURSELF is so key to good mental health. You can survive pretty well anything - breakups, back-stabbing, the lot, if only you love YOURSELF, because then it doesn't matter whether they love you or not too. May I just add, however, to clarify, that if you do have beautiful friends, that is a wonderful thing too.

Thankyou. I do think I'm beautiful, and I love myself for who I know I am. I'm very happy with that.

By the way, in response to your comment, I see what you mean, and I think I might have a suggestion actually. 'Mrs. Dalloway' by Virginia Woolf is quite well known as a brilliant cook-club book because (and I totally agree), it is short, gorgeously and richly written, very poignant, and has a strong, relevant message. Virgina Woolf is a glorious writer - her writing is totally fresh and very revitalising. That is definitely my strongest recommendation. But anything by F. Scott Fitzgerald would probably be great to read too. Do you have any other ideas as to what you might go onto next?

Good luck and take care.

demie said...

its ok to love your self. we all should do that. but personaly i don`t need to say it out loud. not to myself or others. there are people around us that unfortunately dont have the stength that takes to like themselfs. i don`t like to provoke or hurt them. i think is easier ( for me) to shine mine "beauty" without actually talking about it : )

Eleanor said...

love this post. its so true. everyone always criticises themselves, their weight, their hair colour, their nose. we women need to learn to love ourselves. you are a star! x

keishua said...

we have to be attached at the "mental" hip. Seriously, I was walking from the library yesterday and thought. I like me. It was something, I had never thought before and considering everything i did not think that I would be saying it at this moment but i did. I like me, in my own way, i'm awesome!

Mandy said...

What a wonderful post...started off my day right. I totally agree that women have been so "brain-washed" (if you will) by media and society to act and try to look a certain way and to (for some reason) always put ourselves or others down...It's really a big shame...we all need to love ourselves a lot more! I like the way I look too :)

jillian m. said...

Agreed! While I have a tendency to be self-deprecating (mostly in a joking manner), I don't ever have a problem admitting, "Hey, I look good today" or "I'm feeling really confident". And why shouldn't we be able to say that to ourselves? If we don't like ourselves, then why should other people like us?

Kaylia, I had no idea why I wasn't following before (I mean, I read your blog all the time!). But I'm following you now (via Bloglovin). Weird how I just realized that.

jillian m. said...

Oh wait. I totally was following you already. Duh.

becky said...

This post just made you all the more beautiful. Oh my, I love this. I love it I love it I love it!

Bonnie said...

I had no idea that I was such a dirty girl.
I like it.
And I like the way I look.
Because I'm hot.
So suck it.

http://www.glamkittenslitterbox.com/
Twitter: @GlamKitten88

kate said...

Brilliant post. I like the way I look too. And how you look. And how all the other commenters look. I didn't know we were supposed to be ashamed of that.

Anna said...

Such a great post! It's almost as if liking the way you look equates with thinking that you're better than others in some way. Thinking it is preferable to telling people about it tho I think.
AnnaXXX
Goldliondiaires.blogspot.com

Deidre said...

Well, you ARE beautiful!

Beauty for everyone!

kimbirdy said...

woo-hoo! good for you. this is all so true, and might i add it's the same exact thing for guys these days. you are absolutely gorgeous, and so am i! :)

Aquí said...

this is really insightful because I've never thought of the subject from this point of view before but you';re completely right! Why shouldn't we all think we're beautiful and why is so taboo for us to say it out loud? I think I'm beautiful :)

Victoria said...

Love this post !! You are so right!

Brandi {not your average ordinary} said...

I think you need to shout out that you like the way you look. I've been struggling with this lately, especially after I put on some weight. But I'm working on it and I'm going to get myself there.

Sabrina said...

I think you're absolutely right.

Anonymous said...

beautiful.

~BB~ said...

I'm SO proud of you! And happy for you! It takes courage to be so confident and strong, and kudos for doing it! We need more women like you in the world who aren't afraid to say that they are happy and content with themselves - no matter what!

Hazel said...

This is amazing! So true - ladies really should think like this instead of putting themselves down constantly :)

Rach said...

I love that you wrote this. Definitely a message to all women. Be proud of who you are and work what you have been blessed with! :)

Monster Girl said...

Thanks for posting this! I've always felt proud of the fact that I'm content with my own looks and have no hangups - but at the same time, I feel very self-conscious of this same fact because I know how insecure all my female friends are about their own bodies. It's an interesting issue, definitely.