Wednesday, June 1, 2011

The Three Faces of...Everyone

It’s strange, the amount of different personalities we possess. That is not to say that we are fake, or aren’t completely ourselves. But we choose which strengths and weaknesses to emphasise depending on the situation.

I certainly feel like I am the same person day in and day out. Growing and evolving yes. But inherently, deep down at my core, the same.

However, that being said, I feel like the people I work with wouldn’t recognise the person I am when I’m with my friends. The people in my dance class most certainly would not recognise the person I am with my family. And yet I feel as if I am the same person all the time.

I guess we’re all playing a part, choosing to show what is appropriate for the situation.

Is it better this way? Or are we stifling ourselves? I sometimes wonder if the happiest people are those who surround themselves only with people who love every part of them, the good and the bad.

Though I can tell you now, were I to act at work like I do at home I would not have a job.

So is it better to choose our job, school and social life in a manner that will allow us to be entirely free? Or do we need these social restrictions and rules to keep our feet on the ground and allow us to truly grow?

I’m not offering any arguments either way. I honestly have no idea. Just food for thought I guess.

But I have really begun to think about this since I started my blog. Because while I try to be completely honest, I have found I can’t be. While this blog does show one side of my personality, I have blocked out some other parts. It has become introspective, which is what I wanted initially yes, but it is not necessarily true to me.

To be honest...I’m not nearly so polite. I drink, swear, get insane road-rage, throw tantrums when I don’t get my own way, am not at all politically correct, enjoy horrible jokes, and occasionally pretend I’m in Sex and the City and discuss my sex life at inopportune moments that leave both myself and whoever I force fed the piece of information feeling extremely uncomfortable...

But when I find myself typing posts that may reveal the less savoury aspects of myself, I always swallow my courage and delete them.

I have managed to typecast myself, and into someone annoying bland as well.

Do we all do this? Are we all picking and choosing only those aspects that we don’t mind strangers seeing?

Or am I just playing it safe.

Either way, I’m overhauling this blog and it’s gonna get messy....





...or you know, maybe not. Depends on how I feel tomorrow :)

39 comments:

SJ said...

oh i totally agree about having different personalities, even in blog land! the other day i actually contemplated starting a new blog (while keeping my current one) to express other parts of my personality that i don't normally show. That's not to say my blog doesn't reflect me, it just doesn't reflect ALL of me.
i leave my un-PC jokes for my friends, keep my swearing to a minimum (in fact, i don't think i've ever really sworn on my blog!) and my opinionated thoughts on current world matters away from the bloggy-wog.
BUT having said that I love it when people just throw themselves into their blog and say everything they feel and do etc and don't censor themselves. I'm just not quite ready for that yet :)

SJ said...

(wow, that was a really long comment!)

demie said...

It is true that we are a bit more complicated creatures thatn our blogs reflect! I do mix up all my sides in one blog (of course not my most worst one...) and sometimes it makes me feel that my lbog belongs to a scisofrenic...

Indigo said...

This is so true, and interesting. I have two very different groups of friends, and with one I'm very much the centre of attention a lot of the time, while with the other I'm much quieter (not in a bad way necessarily; there's less competitiveness in that group so I'm more relaxed and don't feel I need to be switched "on" all the time). For me, it's so weird having people from both groups reading my blog - I don't know how I come across or which "me" I am, and at the same time I'm also speaking to people on the blogosphere, so I'm another, slightly different "me"!

So is it better to choose our job, school and social life in a manner that will allow us to be entirely free? Or do we need these social restrictions and rules to keep our feet on the ground and allow us to truly grow?
I think for me at least, it's how to interact with different people - some people wouldn't be comfortable with the loud and outgoing me 100% of the time, whereas some people respond better to that. Humans are naturally social, and I think we do this naturally to make other people comfortable. But personally, I like it - I like that I can be "switched on" with some people, and more introspective with others...

Oh man, massive comment, sorry!

Hicham Ennaciri said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kaylan said...

(oops, my guy's gmail was logged in and i first posted my comment from his google account haha)

anyway, i totally agree with you. however, i think it depends what kind of readers you attract with your blog. i know that i am living overseas and not only is my blog my only friend here sometimes lol it's also a means for communicating with my family and friends. so... that part can be draining. i want to say something funny or politically wrong, but i have to keep in mind that my aunts and uncles and my mom and my guy's family will also be reading it. i think if i were writing a blog just for friends then it would be entirely different. it's the PG version that i write. i have also found myself writing posts and deleting them! sometimes i want to comment on scandal political issues and then i think, who am i to comment? and who will i be offending? it's probably in my best interest to delete but sometimes it almost makes my chest heavy because i so much wanted to say what i wanted to say!!!

i say, go for it. say what you want!

Andrea Reh said...

I understand! I overhauled my blog once and very nearly gave up on its current incarnation until several loyal readers convinced me otherwise! But I feel there are many sides of me that don't appear on my blog - that said, there are sides of me that even my friends and family don't see!

Andrea x
andreareh.blogspot.com

PS: Would love if you stopped by my blog sometime - which, six months later, remains as it did after the overhaul!

ellie's desk said...

I like that you brought this up. On one hand, I like the personality I can have in blogging. I like having an outlet..like that..I love the journaling aspect too. But I even notice at work, I can become a different person around certain people.

I find comfort in one co-worker. While another, I feel I can't be my self at all..and I have to be an audience telling them what a saint they are, when really..well, I won't get into it.

This has brought up questions for me.

lucy and sarah said...

I totally know what you mean. I have a friends who thinks I have strange personalities. She can make me feel crazy if I'm around her long enough, and yet we remain close. But it is weird when you have friends who feel that way about you.

The Book Florist said...

That is an incredible true point that you have made. I always feel that for every single one of my friends, I am a bit different - like they would each see me in a totally different way because of how I react to them etcetera, and then when I get home, my attitude is different again!

For me, the blogging process is a lot about saying exactly what's on my mind in the hope that the people I know and love who I don't have the time, space or courage to tell will be able to see it and understand.

Jessica said...

I completely know what you mean! I'm excited for the overhaul (should it occur) and perhaps I should do the same...it is hard to balance the differing parts of each of our personalities, that cannot be denied!

Ashley said...

I think we all do this! It's human nature to be constanly guaging our comfort levels and preceding accordingly, and this in no way makes us dishonest:)I like my blog because I can take all of the time in the world to ease into a comfortable topic, and even then, I still only give so much away. As I'm writing this I'm remembering my first few posts where I'd feel kind of embarassed and nauseated afterwards by a post. My first few posts were about things like nail polish, the weather, and a favorite picture:D It's kind of funny now. There's definitely a lot to think about here!

On another topic: I have a blog award for you; the details can be found on my June 1st post. xx

Alex said...

COMPLETELY understand. Especially the comment about how you wouldn't have a job if you went to work acting they way you do with your friends. Ha! I'd be fired for sure!

ellecupcake said...

That's a good way of wording it. I don't feel like I am being fake.. but I definitely don't show every side of myself in every situation. And I think that's ok. I like the people I work with but they are not the people I choose to hang out with on weekends. They don't need to see every side of me. and yeah.. I want to surround myself with people I feel comfortable with and can be "myself" around.. but sometimes you can't choose who is in your life.. in certain situations. Oooh and I know how you are feeling about your blog! I used to write so sweetly when I am really not like that. Sometimes I find myself slipping back when I don't feel like sharing that much.. but... (maybe a month ago??) I wrote about people who pose for pictures and look like they are pooping. sooo.. im getting better at just being myself. :)

amy b.s. said...

funny you should mention different personalities because i feel like i am totally trying to figure all of mine out right now!

Brandi {not your average ordinary} said...

I completely understand what you mean. If you saw me in a philosophy class and then afterward at a dinner party, you'd have trouble believing I was the same person. We adjust in different situations. Even on my blog I share things that I might not in my day-to-day life and vice versa. Do what you feel is best for you. That's all we can ever really ask of ourselves, right?

Katie said...

Wow, I just started blogging and I've found that I'm already confronted with the fact that I feel like I'm editing myself into a generic mess. I just hope I'll find my voice soon. It's nice to hear about others contemplating the same thing.

Krystal said...

i think we need to have a tell all blog day where we all just vent the bad things you don't see on a blog, haha that would be fun to read!

Krystal said...

er...maybe not to write though, haha

~BB~ said...

Wow - such deep and insightful thoughts. It's so true though - everyone has so many faces that can only be seen in so many lights. Blogging and showing your 'true' self and all sides can be hard, if you even want all sides shown. Great post - it's definitely some food for thought for me.

chels.e. said...

i think we all play roles. i'm not sure if it is human nature to do so or if it is our society that makes us feel the need to conform. it is definately food for thought.
by the way, you & and your blog are definately NOT 'annoyingly bland'.
:)

Mary Grace said...

"To be honest...I’m not nearly so polite. I drink, swear, get insane road-rage, throw tantrums when I don’t get my own way, am not at all politically correct, enjoy horrible jokes, and occasionally pretend I’m in Sex and the City and discuss my sex life at inopportune moments that leave both myself and whoever I force fed the piece of information feeling extremely uncomfortable..."

My favorite quote. It made me laugh because I could totally relate to this. Whatever you're writing in your blog, don't feel like you're being pretentious just because you feel like you're only showing a part of who you are. I think it's natural to act in a certain manner depending on the situation. So with that said, keep up the awesomeness in your blog! Your thoughts here are very insightful. =D

Mocha Mornings said...

This is so true. Wonderful post :)

Thanks for always leaving such sweet comments on my blog!

Magdalena Viktoria said...

ahh, I think about this A LOT. There are more than one side to each of us, and a side comes out depending on our environment. I think that maybe, eventually, we willbe who we are all around, no matter what..but then we do have to adjust somewhat to our environment/people/circumstances.
Great post xx

Deidre said...

I think it's so true that we all have different parts of personality that we highlight depending on our company.

For my blog, Inspector Climate always emails me all worried that I have tipped off the wagon and into depressed from reading my blog. when really, I use it as a place to write about my feelings - happy, sad, depressed, angry - and afterwards feel relieved to have shared it.

I look forward to getting to know the SaTC, swearing, tantrum throwing you. Because chances are, I'll still totally relate!

Bonnie said...

I don't think we have different personalities. Like you said, I believe that we decide which traits of ours to showcase at which times. You don't want to show your obscene, vulgar traits while you are at work, and there is no reason to show your professional, serious side at home. It is all about discerning what is appropriate at the time. I think that is part of what differentiates humans from animals. It's inherent in our nature. (Well, not in some people's natures.)

My blog accurately reflects who I am. I show every side of myself on my blog because I want my followers to really know who I am.

http://www.glamkittenslitterbox.com/
Twitter: @GlamKitten88

becky said...

I agree with a lot of this post--about how we carve and carve ourselves to suit our purposes. But I don't agree--absolutely DO NOT agree--that you have typecast yourself or made yourself bland. I think we are all mature enough to accept swearing and road-rage and personality foibles--so don't restrict yourself: don't hold back if that is what you feel yourself doing--if that is a conscious group of decisions for you. Just be you--whoever that person is on whatever day you're writing a post. Besides, I think you're quite, quite lovely.

keishua said...

The blog world is strange. I think most people want to present ourselves but we definitely want it to be their best self. Plus, you are suppose to have focus and all that jazz. so you kind of put yourself in a box that way. I am working on that in my own blog. I am very sarcastic(offensive), I love the f word, sex and the city and French fries but I am still the person on my blog. I would say the blogger me is a bit censured. I want to bring out a rounder personality but still stay true to my vision.

Holly said...

It just happens..those personality. Makes me think of reading in health back in middle school..the hats you wears. I thought, how ridiculous..but sometimes, it makes the world better when you follow how they want. And yes, some people bring out the best in you better than others.

Aquí said...

I'm glad you wrote about this because its something that I've thought about many times before. I just started a new job and I told my boyfriend, "I don't recognize myself at work." I've chosen to portray myself as a certain person there and I'm not really sure where it came from. That being said, I am someone different with every interaction, yet still the same all the time. Just as you said. Thank you for putting this into words :)

katecreate said...

I am the same way. I don't like swearing on my blog, nor do I enjoy getting angry when I write my posts. I think in the back of my mind, I want to show the world the positive side of my personality.

Jo said...

I am with you! This has been on my mind a lot lately, too! I'm super delighted to hear that you're going to get messy...and I'm super inspired!
I love to share what books I'm reading, and currently I'm reading something that I think may make me unpopular to some readers, even though it shouldn't, and I've been having reservations about posting on it. Isn't that silly?
And that's not all...it's just the latest example of how I am not always my true self.
Yes, I guess there are certain places (like the work place) where it's not always possible to let it all hang out...but our blogs are OUR places. They should reflect who we really are, to the extent that we want them to.
Thank you so much for this post!! I'm so glad to know I'm not the only one having these thoughts! And I'm so inspired by your pledge to get messy!
Hooray!!

Chelsea Lane said...

HA so true! I love reading blogs, because I identify with so many of you! (PS can't wait to see the overhauuulll!)

xoxo

MandyJean said...

Love this. I think about this all the time. How different we are with different people...yet all at once the same person.

Eleanor said...

oh i love this post :) its brilliant. i think that we do hide parts of ourselves but we have one personality at heart.
eleanor xx
mirrorofmyworld.blogspot.com

Caroline said...

This was the first post I ever read of yours, funny enough! But it is so true. I am a millions different people to everyone- and sometimes the shift comes just naturally and I think afterwards: I am so ___________ with them. Why am I like that?!

I think it's part societal and social- and "good". Part energetic and unhelpable (different people have different energies. And part us maybe wanting to please- which can also be seen as bad--

maybe the more in tune we are with "ourselves", the less we'd vary from group to group?

The Book Florist said...

Haha! Thanks for your comment, but I would like to say ... "not COMPLETELY honest, because both my parents read my blog!" I'm so glad you enjoyed it though! Some days, it just flows, doesn't it, and you can feel really chuffed with your writing. Take care.

Simoana said...

I couldnt agree with you more. Love your blog. Top stuff.

kate said...

considering this blog is the MANY colours of happiness I think it's an appropriate to overhaul if you're not showing your MANY sides.