I was looking back at my old blog posts the other day, which made me realise just how much I have changed since August of last year. I think it’s partly to do with blogging (through sorting out my thoughts, getting advice from wonderful people, and seeing so many brave bloggers follow their dreams), and partly to do with my complete dissatisfaction with my current degree; that I have decided to finally work towards something I really want, rather than settling for less.
If you have followed me for a while, you’ll know that I have a tendency to play it safe. Because of this, I have always steered towards career-based degrees, rather than subjects I actually enjoy. Which hasn't been the best decision, since despite my desire to be practical and do practical subjects, I am the least practical person in the entire world. Give me an essay to write and I am in my element. Get me to do anything hands-on that doesn’t involve a lot of words and self-reflection...and I will probably cry. I have nightmares about having to write lesson plan after lesson plan. Which is exactly what teaching entails. Maybe not the best career choice for me?
So while I loved the kids and they loved me...my lessons sucked. They were just the worst. I have no concept of what would work in a real classroom setting. My ideas were just ridiculous. I live in a land filled with words and theories like ‘post-modernism’ and other such terms that everyone uses to sound smart but no one really understands; not a land of ‘hands-on’ activities and ‘real-life’.
And I think, most importantly, it was the feeling I got every morning before I entered the school. That sinking feeling. While I enjoyed my days there when I actually entered the building, I really found it difficult to make myself walk inside. To make myself take those steps. I don’t want a job that I dread going to. I work every day now, and while it’s not an amazing job, I don’t have any problem going to it. I don’t need to feel excitement about work; I’m not all that fussy. But I don’t want a job that I feel unhappy about going to.
And so I felt that is was time to change tactics. Instead of picking a career-based degree and trying to force myself to like it; I am going to do a degree that I am really interested in. If a job comes out if it, then great! And if it doesn’t, at least I know that I tried.
So starting next month, I am doing my Masters in Writing and Literature. It’s not practical, but it is something that I will really enjoy.
And I have started to realise that life is short, and doing what you love is the important thing. Even if there isn’t a guaranteed career waiting at the end of it.
Comments
i always thought i wanted to be a teacher until i worked at a summer camp in the states and realised that it was really tough coming up with ways to fill the day for kids that was both productive and fun. It was actually really stressful at times!
So if the thought of turning up to school every day filled you with dread, then i think you've definitely moved in the right direction. You can always figure out the job business when you finish and that't at least a year away!
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Goodluck and best wishes,
good for you for going after what you love.
There's something freeing and light about allowing yourself to be happy, regardless of what is the practical, safe choice.
I completely understand what you're saying about having a set career path--it offers security but more often than not, you've just been shoe-horned and forced into it. If you ever need a little more inspiration, I recommend reading Ken Robinson's 'The Element'--it's non-fiction: just a collection of people following their dreams rather than an arbitrary career. At the same time, it's a crucial commentary on education. Really, really interesting--and I imagine, for you, would really ground your beliefs (because it did for me--a girl with similar beliefs!)
I really am so thrilled about this new move of yours! :) xx
Anyway, good luck with your new choice of study, and I'm sure there are plenty of career opportunities for people who've studied literature (though the first thing I can come up with is teaching, lol, the irony!).
it wasnt practical necessarily although i am going to do a masters on theatre in the community and am hoping that will be my career.
good luck kaylia xo
Happy adventuring!
So I have resolved to give it time. But ultimately I agree whole-heartedly. I must do what I love!!
I am going through the exact same thing right now. I don't love my English program like I thought I would. I still like English, but I don't know if I want to go through another year of this. I just don't feel the love anymore, and there are too many problems in the English department to make it worth the trouble. I don't know if I should stick it out for another year since I am halfway finished or if I should start a new graduate program that I think I will be more interested in ...
Growing up is difficult.
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I'm not a very practical person either and I find it really disheartening that although I'm quite good academically, those in my class who were better practically have got childcare jobs and I don't.
I am so excited for you!
I plan to do drama and English literature, and then education, which I recall was sort of similar to what you did, but I can't think about it with anything like enthusiam. I've been in school all my life, and the idea of getting out, studying and getting straight back in, on the less fun, harder side of the school scale, makes me quite unsettled. I really don't know what to do. I would love to run a book store, but I know that there will be only hardship and loss down that path, as I won't make enough money to get anything from it in the long run. And writing doesn't make anyone money unless they are either incredible and saleable or terrible and saleable. I don't believe myself to be either. I'm delighted you have found a new twist to explore, but it makes me extra nervous about mine. I suppose whatever.
Anyway, have fun preparing for the commencement of your new subject and I hope that it will be even more fantastic than you imagined! Take care.
AnnaXXX
Good luck in all your endeavours!
Greetings from a fellow blogger :)
This Good Life
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lila
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I've just came across your blog today and I love your 'about me' section. It is so inspiring :)
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